One Direction Fanfic: Around in Circles

One Direction Fanfic: Around in Circles

Chapter 21:

Bianca’s POV:

I woke up with a pounding headache and groaned into my pillow. I felt like complete and utter crap and last night’s events did nothing to make me feel better. I groaned again and buried myself under the soft fluffy covers.

“If you groan any louder I’m going to get complaints from the neighbours” A voice chuckled from above me.

I nearly jumped out of my skin and rolled over quickly to see Niall standing beside the bed with a tray in his hands. I growled lowly at him as I put a hand over my racing heart.

“Are you trying to give me a heartache?!” I shrieked

Niall snorted and said “I’m sorry you’re so unobservant that you didn’t hear my LOUD footsteps.”

“Hey I’m plenty observant thank you very much!” I stated.

Niall gave me a ‘get real’ look which I chose to ignore.

I pulled myself up and rested my back against the headboard and Niall handed me the tray he was handing.

“Niall…” I trailed of softly when I saw what he had done.

There in front of me on the tray was a plate full of Chocolate chip pancakes and you could see the chocolate chips sort of formed a smiley face, with strawberries and chocolate sauce on top.

I felt my eyes tear up and Niall looked at me panicky, “Shit sorry Bianca I didn’t mean to make you cry” He said trying to take the tray away from me but I held onto it tightly and shook my head.

My throat had tightened and I was swallowing loudly trying to speak but my voice came out as a whisper as I said “Thank you”

Niall relaxed and I saw him grin at me, “You like it?” He asked.

I shook my head and his face fell before I could whisper “I love it”

Niall grinned hugely and sat down next to me on the bed while I ate quickly, I was starving since I hadn’t eaten properly in days. I saw Niall frowning at me from the corner of my eye but I didn’t look up as I was busy stuffing my face. Normally I wouldn’t let myself eat like that but since I hadn’t eaten properly in days I allowed myself this small treat.

“Bianca you look like you haven’t eaten in days” Niall said jokingly but I could hear the underlining tone in his words.

I shrugged innocently while Niall glared at me.

“Seriously Bianca?” Niall demanded to know.

I ignored him and rubbed my now full tummy. “That was great Niall!” I said enthusiastically.

“I’m glad you like it but don’t think I’m going to forget about this” He said referring to me not eating for days.

I rolled my eyes but nodded at him flashing him a smile.

He smiled back sincerely and jumped out of bed and said “Let’s go!”

“Where?” I asked looking at him confused.

“Just out” He said vaguely.

This time I frowned at him suspiciously but he raised his hands in surrender, “I haven’t seen you in ages and there’s not much to do here” He said

I felt guilty when he said that and I know he could see it on my face.

“Bianca I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty” he said quickly.

I waved him off and got out of bed and stretched my stiff limbs.

“I’ll just hop in the shower then we’ll leave?” I asked him

He quickly nodded and said excitedly “I’m going to be in the lounge then; I want to see how Manchester did last night!”

I chuckled at his excitement and said “Okay off you go” like I was dismissing a little kid.

He practically ran to the room and not a second later I heard the TV being turned on. I chuckled at how quick he was while I grabbed some spare clothes I had left over here.

I had a long hot shower and changed into some light blue jeans and a black singlet. I looked out the window in Niall’s room and saw the weather was taking a turn for the worse so I went to his closet and looked for a jumper to borrow.

I found a comfy looking grey hoodie which I put on and looked in the mirror. The hoodie was a bit a big for me but it looked fine and it smelt so good, so I put my chucks on and brushed my hair and left it out to dry naturally.

When I stepped into the lounge Niall was cursing under his breath at the TV and I let out a small laugh seeing his expression, he always got so worked up about sports it was adorable! Niall glared at me playfully while I tried not to burst into a fit of giggles.

“So I take it they’re not doing too well?” I asked innocently

Niall groaned and switched the TV off and said “Their playing like utter rubbish at the moment!”

I chuckled at how frustrated he sounded and followed him out of the apartment and down to his car while he continued to talk about soccer.

I must have been daydreaming because before I knew it we were in the car cruising on the highway.

I turned to face Niall who was humming a Justin Bieber song and asked him “So where are we going?”

“You’ll see” he replied.

I sighed but didn’t argue. Instead I let my thoughts drift to Zayn and felt my heart pang at the thought of him.

I miss him I thought miserably. I just want everything to go back to normal.

When Niall turned into an all too familiar street I turned to glare at him.

“Why are we going down this street Niall?!” I demanded.

“I don’t know what you mean” Niall said.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Zayns apartment is on this street” I said.

“Is it?” Niall asked innocently.

I reached over and smacked his arm. Hard.

“Ow! Bianca don’t hit the driver!” Niall yelled.

“Well if the driver has suddenly gone insane I think it’s allowed! What are you up to?!” I yelled back.

“You and Zayn need to talk this out okay. Both of you are miserable and just need to sit down and talk about everything.” Niall said seriously.

I felt my heart start to beat faster and my palms automatically started to get sweaty as my eyes widened in panic. “Niall I can’t” I whispered.

Niall glanced at me as he parked the car. “Bee you can do this. It’s Zayn, not some stranger”

I shook my head before he even finished speaking “I can’t Niall! He hates me and I don’t think I can handle him saying that to me” I said my voice wavering.

Niall looked at me incredulously, “Bianca you’re the insane one! That boy doesn’t hate you; in fact it’s the opposite! He loves you”

“How do you know that Niall? Huh? Please tell me?” I argued.

“Because whenever he talks about you he has the biggest smile on his face! Whenever he hears your name his head whips around so fast as if someone said his own name! When he’s with you he’s constantly glancing at you as if he can’t take his eyes off you! When we’re away on tour he’ll scroll through pictures of you! You don’t notice or know these things but I do and I know for a fact that he loves you!” Niall ranted.

I stared at him open mouthed in shock. “I don’t believe you” I told him in disbelief.

“Well whether you do or don’t all I know is that you need to talk to Zayn” Niall said.

He got out of the car and opened my door as I started to protest but he covered my mouth with his hand.

“Bianca if you don’t walk up to Zayns apartment I will physically carry you up there so don’t test me” He said seriously.

I looked at him to see if he was serious and saw his unwavering gaze and decided I’d rather walk then be carried.

I huffed loudly but got out of the car and slammed the door shut.

Niall winced and looked at me in horror and said “What did my baby ever do to you?!”

I tried to stifle the giggle that threatened to escape my lips but failed.

As we walked up to Zayns apartment side by side I kept wiping my palms on my jeans and biting my lip nervously. When we neared Zayns apartment I felt my knees lock into place and saw Niall jerk back into place as he had linked his arm through mine.

“Niall I’m not ready for this. I don’t even know what to say” I whispered

You will be fine” Niall said stressing out each word as he dragged me to Zayns door and knocked before I could convince him this was a bad idea.

I decided to try one last time “Are you sure this is a good idea?” I whispered quickly.

Niall opened his mouth to respond but the door opened and there was Zayn. I felt myself stiffen as I looked him over. His hair was all over the place, he had dark circles under his eyes and he had a bit of stubble going on. My eyes trailed down to see his bare chest before I quickly snapped my eyes back to his as I felt my ears turn red in embarrassment.

Oh god he’s shirtless I thought to myself.

Suddenly Niall shoved me and I stumbled into Zayn who shot out his arms to catch me and in the process pulled me into his chest.

I turned around to glare at Niall trying to ignore Zayns gaze on my face as I felt my embarrassment double.

“Go talk and don’t even come out till all this is sorted.” Niall said finally and walked off leaving me staring at him open mouthed yet again.

Zayn cleared his throat and I turned to face him and realised how close we were and went to step back but his arms stopped me.

Zayn quickly realised and let me go but not before I saw the hurt look on his face as I stepped away from him. Crap now I feel bad.

“So uh do you wanna come in so uh we can talk?” Zayn asked scratching the back of his head nervously.

I bit my lip hesitantly and rocked back on my heels as I debated on what to do.

“Please?” Zayn pleaded, I glanced at his face and saw he was doing those adorable puppy eyes that I could never say no to. I mentally groaned but nodded silently to Zayn.

Zayn relaxed and stepped back so I could enter. I walked in and went straight to the couch and hugged one of the cushions to my chest as I watched Zayn sit down next to me.

It was silent for a while, neither of us saying anything, just looking at each other.

Finally I couldn’t take it anymore and broke the silence.

“You look tired” I said to him.

“I could say the same to you, when’s the last time you had a good night’s sleep?” He asked concern written all over his face.

I shrugged and saw him frown at me before a determined look overtook.

He took a deep breath and said “Bianca I need to get this off my chest and I have a lot to say so please don’t interrupt okay?”

I nodded and clutched the cushion tightly feeling slightly scared about what he was about to say.

He ran a hand through his already messy hair and I was suddenly itching to run my fingers through his hair.

I shook my head to get rid of those thoughts and tried to focus on what he was about to say instead.

“First I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I overreacted about the Nate thing. I was jealous and I was stupid, I just felt like if anyone had a good chance and stealing you away from me it would be him because whenever I’m away from home you guys spend so much time together and I get that he’s your best friend but I thought he liked you but obviously now I know different but anyway I was a jerk about the whole Nate thing, I let jealousy get the best of me and I’m so sorry! All I know now is that I want you back; I want to be able to call you my girlfriend again because I miss you so much and I love you. I love you more than anything in this world, when I’m with you I just feel at home. Like your my home, god I don’t know how to explain this well without sounding like an idiot but you’re always in my thoughts, even at the back of my mind when I’m out performing your always there.”

He grabbed my hand at put it over his heart which I could feel beating incredibly fast under my hand. I tried to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat.

“You can feel how fast it’s beating? It only ever beats like that around you.” Zayn said sincerely staring into my eyes.

I felt my breathing get shallow as I looked back at him. His eyes were pleading with mine and my whole brain was screaming at me to kiss him.

“What about that girl?” I blurted out. My heart aching at the thought of Zayn with her.

“What girl?” Zayn asked looking genuinely confused

“At the club” I replied shortly.

“She was just a family friend who kept pushing herself on me. I swear I was pushing her away and I was about to leave when I saw you and I froze and I didn’t even realise what she was doing” he said honestly.

He was still holding my hand and rubbing soothing circles on my palm with his thumb.

I looked down at my lap and bit my lip as I thought about everything he had said. I felt tears run down my cheeks and tilted my head so my hair fell in front of my face.

“Bianca” Zayn said softly pushing my hair behind my ear and lifting up my chin to meet his gaze.

His grip on my hand tightened when he saw I was crying. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, I promise to protect you, even from myself if it comes to it” He said.

I couldn’t take it anymore. Every part of me was screaming to be near him so I threw my arms around his neck and buried my face into his neck.

I felt Zayn wrap his arms around my waist as he lifted me up on his lap so I was straddling him as he buried his face in my hair.

“I love you” I whispered.

He tightened his grip on me but drew back and I felt a whimper escape my lips. I needed to be close to him now so I tightened my grip on his neck preventing him from pulling back further.

I felt Zayn unwrap his arms from around my waist and reach behind his neck to my hands and pulled them apart so he could pull back to look at my face. He leant in and kissed down my cheek, then he went to the other cheek and let his lips trail down to my jaw and I felt myself shiver involuntarily as I realised he was kissing my tears away. He pulled back and licked his lips before leaning in.

He brought his lips inches away from mine and by now both of us were breathing heavily. “I love you” He whispered his breath washing over me as I trembled with desire.

Then he leant in and his lips finally made contact with mine. I moaned as I wrapped an arm around his neck and with my other hand gripped a fist full of his hair and tugged him even closer to me.

He groaned and bit my lip, crushing my body to his in the process. His hands were everywhere, running down my sides and up my thighs as he trailed his fingers across the skin on my hips igniting my body with heat trails wherever his fingers made contact. I couldn’t get enough of him; it had been too long since I had kissed him. We kissed like this for what felt like hours, furiously running our hands over each other’s bodies while we kissed each other passionately. I knew I was going to faint if I didn’t take a breath soon and I think Zayn felt the same because he reluctantly pulled his lips away from mine and rested his forehead against mine as he looked into my eyes.

“I love you” He whispered.

“I love you too” I whispered back. He smiled widely and leant in pressing his lips firmly against mine. This time the kiss was sweet and just as long.

“I’ll never get tired of hearing you say that.” He said softly.

I smiled back at him, feeling pure blissful happiness.

Zayn suddenly stood up and I squeaked and tightened my grip on him as he put his hands under my bum to support me. I playfully glared at him as he smirked at me “Sorry I’ll warn you next time.” He said

“What makes you think there’s going to be a next time?” I asked playfully raising my eyebrows.

Zayn laughed and I felt a small smile appear on my face as I heard my most favourite sound in the world. His laugh.

Zayn noticed the look on my face and kissed my forehead as he carried me to his room and lowered me on the bed.

“I think we both need to catch up on sleep” He said chucking me boxers and a shirt. I nodded eagerly, I loved cuddling with Zayn, some of the best ever sleeps I’ve had have always happened when I’ve fallen asleep in his arms. I quickly stripped and put on his shirt which came about mid-thigh so I chucked his boxers back at him and hopped into bed.

He groaned as he looked at me lustfully “Really Bee?”

I shrugged innocently trying to keep the smirk of my face.

Zayn dropped his tracks and hopped into bed in only boxers, as he got under the covers with me he wrapped both his arms around me and hooked his leg around mine.

He kissed my forehead, then my eyelids and then my nose and my cheeks, saving my lips for last.

I could feel his stubble rub gently across my neck as he sucked on a sensitive spot on my neck giving me a hickey in the process.

He pulled back breathless and said “we really should sleep now”

I made an incoherent sound as I kissed along his jaw and then let my lips trail down his neck to kiss collarbone. I felt his grip on my waist tighten as my lips brushed over a sensitive spot on his collarbone and latched my lips onto the skin there and gave him a hickey. He let out a low groan and when I was satisfied with the hickey I gave him I pulled back and rested my head on his chest and sighed happily.

“Now we can go to sleep” I replied cheekily.

Zayn let out a chuckle and gave me a quick peck as he ran his hand through my hair and started humming a tune I didn’t realise.

Soon I was drifting off to sleep so I snuggled into Zayn and let the darkness take over but not before feeling Zayns lips press against mine once more.

One Direction Fanfic: Around in Circles, Chapter 20

One Direction Fanfic: Around in Circles

Chapter 20:

Bianca’s POV:

It had been a couple of days since the incident at Niall’s apartment and I was currently moping in my room. I could hear hushed voices outside my door and rolled my eyes. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and cringed. I looked like a right mess.

A sigh escaped my lips and I jumped when my room door suddenly burst open. Danielle came storming in and crossed her arms. My mouth hung open in surprise while she looked at me expectantly.

“We’re going out, so go shower and I’m going to help you get ready” She demanded

“But-“ I started to say before she cut me off with a glare.

Danielle could be scary when she wanted to so I obediently headed to the bathroom and showered.

When I came out wrapped in a towel Danielle had set some clothes on the bed which I robotically put on.

It wasn’t till she pushed me into a chair and started doing my hair that I realised I had no idea where we going.

“Danielle where are we going?” I asked quietly.

“We’re going out clubbing with the boys” She said

My breath caught in my throat and my eyes widened with horror. She was going to make me go clubbing while Zayn was there? I would burst into tears the second I saw him!

Confusion flittered across Danielle’s face before she realised what I was thinking. “Zayns not going to be there babe, he’s moping around at home so Liam and Harry are keeping him company while Niall and Louis come clubbing with us”

“He’s moping?” I asked confused.

Danielle sighed and muttered to herself “So damn dense.”

“What?” I said defensively feeling even more confused.

“He’s moping about you silly! He misses you!” She exclaimed.

“Yeah well he’s the one who’s ignoring me.” I muttered to myself.

When Danielle was done curling my hair and doing my makeup she turned me around so I could see myself in the mirror.

A small gasp escaped my lips as I took in my appearance. My dark brown hair was curled to perfection and cascaded down my back; my brown eyes seemed to pop with the eyeliner and mascara Danielle had put on and my lips looked pouty and pink. I almost didn’t recognise myself.

No one will think wow that girl’s been moping in her room crying for three days I thought to myself wryly.

“Do you not like what I did?” Danielle asked nervously and I realised I hadn’t said anything yet.

I spun around and threw my arms around her tightly. “Thank you thank you thank you!” I said grinning.

Danielle laughed and hugged me back tightly.

I was going to have fun tonight; I deserved a night of fun after everything.

I heard my room door open and pulled back to see Nate standing there rather awkwardly.

“Nate” I said surprised.

I saw Danielle look between us, eyebrows furrowed.

“Um, I was wondering if I could talk to you alone for a sec…” He stammered.

Danielle looked at me and raised her eyebrows. I nodded slightly and she sent me a small smile.

“I’ll be waiting downstairs” She said as she walked out of my room, subtly shutting the door behind her.

I looked at Nate expectantly but he didn’t say anything and as the silence dragged on my nerves were escalating.

“Nate I’m really nervous now what’s up?” I finally asked him.

Nate sighed and ran a hand threw his messy hair. He made his way over to my bed and sat down on the edge and patted the spot next to him.

I rolled my eyes but complied.

I bit my lip as I waited for him to say something, anything.

“Okay I don’t know where to start but first I’m sorry about getting in the way of you and Zayn, but more importantly for that night when you were in the accident. I shouldn’t have forced myself on you and I only did it because I was… conflicted about things and I handled it the wrong way and I love you like a sister, I always have but…” He trailed off.

I stared at him speechless but squeezed his hand, encouraging him to go on.

He looked at me nervously and said quietly “You know how my relationship is with my dad, it’s pretty strained and he already hates me so when I realised…. Something about myself I knew it would just anger my dad even more so I guess what I’m trying to tell you is that… I’m… well… you see…” Nate let out a frustrated grunt and pulled at his hair.

“It’s okay you know you can tell me anything” I said softly.

“I’ve just never really said it aloud but here goes nothing” he said muttering.

“I’m gay.” He quickly said.

My eyes widened and my mouth fell open. I snapped my mouth shut when I realised how I must have looked and opened my mouth but I was at a loss of words.

Nate was nervously clicking his fingers and I finally snapped out of it.

“Well I’m glad you told me and about your dad, he doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.”

Nate looked relieved. “Thanks, for not making this a big deal. I haven’t quite come to terms with it.” He said fidgeting slightly. 

I hugged him tightly and said “I’ll be with you every step of the way so it’s fine just take it as it comes”

When I pulled away Nate sent me a heart-warming smile and said “I don’t know what I’d do without you”

I smiled back at him and he said “So you’re looking quite sexy where you off too?”

I chuckled at him before responding, “Danielle’s taking me clubbing with Louis and Niall.”

“Sounds fun…” He said trailing off. He looked conflicted so I nudged him lightly and his eyes snapped up to meet mine.

“What’s on your mind?” I asked him.

“Well do you think I could come? I mean Zayns not going to be there and I could really use a distraction tonight…” He said slowly.

“Of course!” I said grinning at him! I grabbed his head and started dragging him downstairs where Danielle was talking to mum. I let go off his hand when we entered the lounge.

“Danielle is it cool if Nate comes clubbing with us?” I asked. Nate looked embarrassed for some reason, silly boy.

Danielle looked surprise but quickly nodded. “Sure you guys ready to go? Lou and Niall will meet us there” She said.

“Yeah as ready as I’ll ever be” I said.

“Alright let’s go” Danielle said grabbing her purse and keys.

“Bye mom!” I yelled as we left the house and I heard her yell “Be Safe!”

Danielle got into the driver’s seat; I got into the passenger’s side while Nate got into the back.

We drove there with the radio, all of us lost in our own thoughts.

Before I knew it we were outside the club, I shook my head trying to get myself out of the daze I was in.

Nate nudged me and I looked at him quickly, he was frowning down at me.

“What?” I asked innocently

“You were completely out of it then, does that happen a lot?” He asked concern written all over his face.

I forced on a smile and said “No don’t worry I’m fine”

He didn’t look convinced but before he could question me further Danielle returned from talking to the bouncer outside the club.

“Alright let’s go in” She said smiling.

We walked past the line of people and slipped inside. I looked around and it seemed like there were hundreds of sweaty bodies grinding against each other on the dance floor.

The music was so loud I could feel the floor vibrating. I spotted Niall and Louis sitting at the bar with a drink in their hands.

“Lou and Niall are over there!” I said shouting over the music; Danielle looked at where I was pointing and grabbed my hand and started making our way over there with Nate following closely.

When we got up to the boys they looked relieved to see me and quickly hugged the life out of me.

“Guys seriously I’m fine” I huffed.

They pulled back and Louis said “Well we missed seeing your face okay”

I chuckled but stopped short when I saw Louis face drop before he gently pushed me aside and went up to Nate.

“What are you doing here?!” He said standing in front of Nate with his arms crossed.

I quickly squeezed myself between them and put my hands on Louis chest as I pushed him back a few steps.

“Louis leave it. I’ve forgiven him, he explained himself and everything’s okay between us.” I said

Louis opened his mouth to protest but I covered it quickly with my hand.

“Trust me please?” I pleaded.

Louis removed my hand from his mouth and sighed, “I’m not happy about this but if you’re sure…” He trailed off looking at me for confirmation.

I nodded quickly and he stared at me for a few more seconds to make sure I was serious. He finally looked back at Nate and said “If you hurt her in the slightest way I will not hesitate to punch you, no matter what she says, got it?” He asked firmly.

I’m sure I looked mortified by now but Nate didn’t seem surprised by any of it. “I wouldn’t expect anything less” He said.

Louis nodded and then muttered “I need another drink”

I giggled at his expression and looked at Niall who was quiet during the whole thing.

He was frowning slightly and had a concentrated look on his face before he spoke.  “Danielle you should take Bianca to dance.” He said not looking at either of us.

I frowned as Danielle grabbed my hand and started pulling me away but I pulled my arm out of her grip and put my hand on Niall’s shoulder turning him around.

“Niall what was that?” I demanded.

He smiled at me and said “I just want to talk to Nate, go dance with Danni okay?”

I frowned at him and looked at Nate who nodded for me to go dance.

I rolled my eyes; the boys were being ridiculous but fine if they wanted me to go I would go. I nodded at Nate and turned around and walked back to Danielle who was waiting patiently.

When we got to the dance floor I peaked at where Niall and Nate were standing but they were no longer there.

I sighed but let it go and started dancing with Danielle.

It wasn’t long before I was laughing and smiling just like I used to.

“I’m glad you forced me to come out I needed this” I said smiling widely

“No problem!” Danielle said flashing me a grin.

We danced for a while longer before Nate, Niall and Louis joined us. We were dancing for god knows how long but I just lost track of time and it was the best feeling in the world. I just moved my body to the music and focused on that. Temporarily forgetting everything that had happened in the past week.

I was happily dancing and laughing when I saw Danielle freeze. I looked at her concernedly when the same thing happened to Niall and Louis.

“Guys?” I asked.

Their gazes snapped to mine looking panicked and worried. I looked at Nate confused to see if he knew what was going on but he was looking at something behind me, his face drained of colour.

I went to turn around but Nate grabbed my shoulder, preventing me from seeing what they had all seen.

“Let’s go Bianca I’m not feeling well anymore” He said hurriedly while the others nodded and said they were quite tired as well.

I frowned at them they were fine a second ago. Nate’s hand was still on my shoulder but I shrugged it off and turned around and froze.

My eyes widened and my heart pounded as I stared in shock because there was Zayn.

Except he wasn’t alone.

This girl was practically grinding on him and he did nothing to push her away.

I could feel someone tugging on my arm but I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the horrible sight in front of me.

I don’t know what happened but instead of crumpling onto the floor and sobbing like I wanted to I started making my way over to them.

With each step my anger grew and I could feel the others following me.

I was finally in front of Zayn and he looked up and looked surprised to see me but then his face went blank.

My hands were shaking and my breathing had turned shallow.

The girl who was dancing with Zayn stared at me oblivious to the tension and held out her hand to me and said in a chirpy voice “Hi I’m Tara!”

I didn’t make a move to grab her hand and she awkwardly dropped it.

“Zayn what the hell are you doing?” I asked fiercely

“I was dancing in case you didn’t notice and I can see you’re doing the same with Nate” He spat out.

“Nate’s my friend Zayn! I forgave him and I thought you would be able to trust my judgement on this!” I said yelling at him.

“You’re the one moving on so why can’t I?!” he yelled right back.

“I’m not moving on!” I shouted, running a hand through my head, feeling so frustrated at this whole situation.

“I’m not moving on” I said quietly. “I love you” I whispered.

Zayn froze and stared at me with widened eyes. Shit he heard me I thought cringing.

Suddenly Nate spoke the 2 words I never thought he would say.

“I’m gay.”

Zayn snapped his head up to look at Nate while I whirled around to stare at Nate open mouthed.

“Nate you don’t have to-“I started to say but Nate cut me off.

“I’m gay, that night when I kissed her it’s because I was trying to change how I felt, I was drunk and messed up and I love her like a sister and tried to force something that wasn’t there. I’m gay okay? Now you better fucking fix this because I swear if you break her heart again I will fucking hurt you.” Nate said firmly.

I just stared at him open mouthed unable to think of a coherent response.

Nate winked at me and then leant in and kissed me on the forehead, “I’m going to catch a cab home. Call me if he gives you any trouble” He said nodding at Zayn and with that he left.

Danielle was looking amused by the whole situation while Niall and Louis looked surprised.

“Bianca?” Zayn asked.

I looked at him and bit my lip.

“Well I can see your moving on fine so I’m going to go” I said and spun around and started walking away quickly.

Niall caught up with me easily and said “I’m not letting you stay alone tonight”

I nodded silently and heard Zayn shout after me but ignored him. As we were getting into a cab Zayn caught up with us panting slightly.

“Can we please talk?” He begged as it started to rain.

“Tomorrow Zayn not now” I said feeling tired all of a sudden.

“I’m trying to fix this and you-“Zayn started to say but I cut him off angrily.

“Now you’re trying to fix this?! You completely ignored me when I was trying to fix this so sorry if I don’t want to talk right now after seeing another girl grind on you!” I shouted.

Zayn opened his mouth but I cut him off with a deadly glare and said “You’re only trying to fix this because Nate told you he was gay. You need to apologise to him. You should have trusted me, a relationship won’t work without trust and maybe we should go back to being friends because this isn’t working” I said wearily even though my brain was protesting at the thought of just being friends with Zayn, my heart thumped painfully because it knew Zayn could never be just a friend and it scared me.

Zayn stared at me in shock and I could see the pain in his eyes. I looked away unable to look him in the eyes anymore.

“I’m sorry” I whispered and shut the taxi door shut. Niall hopped in and told the driver his address and I watched as we drove away from Zayn who was now standing in the pouring rain. I snorted at the total cliché.

Niall put his arm around me and made soothing noises as I cried into his shoulder.

“It’s going to be okay Bee; he’ll come to his sense and fix this I promise.” Niall said softly

I nodded and shut my eyes tightly in a futile attempt to stop the tears from streaming down my face.

“Niall?” I asked hoarsely.

“Yeah?” He replied.

“I really really love him” I said, feeling a sob building up.

“I know you do, and he loves you so much Bee. Trust me” Niall said softly.

“But he broke it” I said in between sobs.

“Broke what?” Niall asked worriedly.

“My heart” I whispered.

 

 

funny, so many other blogs get guesses asking if they are one direction…no body ever asked us- the one direction blog for directioners….. ;)

Around in circles

Chapter 18:

Bianca’s POV:

We both stood still staring at each other cautiously before his face broke into a wide grin.

“Bianca!” He almost yelled throwing his arms around me in a tight hug; I froze before relaxing into his embrace.

“Lee” I whispered again in shock.

I couldn’t believe it was Lee.

The same Lee that used to hang out with Zayn and I! We were the three musketeers! Zayn, Lee and I were the best of friends as kids till one day Lee’s family had to move because his dad got transferred. Lee was 15 at the time, the same age as me and Zayn would have been 16.

I took a step back and really looked at him. He still had the same hair cut as a kid. His sandy brown hair was sticking up in every direction as if he had been running his hands through it multiple times. His sparkling green eyes had a mischievous look to them. He was defiantly tanner than what I remember and he was a few centimeters taller than me, but he still had the same lean figure. His nose slightly crooked from a basketball injury if I remember correctly.

Lee stuck out his hands and did a twirl for me, “So are you done inspecting me?” He asked, grinning at me playfully.

I laughed out loud but stop abruptly when Lee tackled me into a hug again.

“Lee!… Can’t… Breathe” I gasped

He quickly stepped back and looked at me sheepishly; he opened his mouth to say something but snapped it shut when we heard footsteps coming down the hall.

My wide eyes met his as he grabbed my hand and pulled me behind as we ran through the corridors. He suddenly turned left into what I was assuming to be his room and shut the door quickly.

“That was close” Lee muttered.

I nodded silently because my ribs were aching and I was feeling weak in the knees. Lee grabbed my hand again and pulled me to his bed and motioned me to sit on it. I climbed on and sat with my back resting against the pillows, legs straight in front of me and he sat right next to me doing the same.

It was silent for a few moments but it wasn’t an awkward silence, which surprised me.

“It’s been so long, I don’t even know where to start” Lee said shaking his head.

I let out a quiet chuckle and replied “Well first why are you in hospital?” I asked worriedly.

“Oh just had a little surgery on my arm, not a big deal, just a sports injury” He said smiling at me.

“That’s good! I mean the sports injury isn’t but it’s just not as bad as I imagined it to be. Not that having a sport injury isn’t bad or anything I just-“

“Whoa Bianca take a breather it’s cool I get it” He said chuckling.

I sighed “Sorry just ignore my ramblings” I said.

“You’re still the same” Lee said sending a wink my way before a serious look dawned on his face, “Wait why are you in hospital?” He asked frowning.

I held back a laugh as I looked at Lee’s confused face; he was always a bit slow so he hasn’t changed much either.

“Iwasinacaraccident” I said quickly.

Lees eyes narrowed “You were in an accident?!”

Crap I didn’t think he would actually understand that.

“Yeah I was driving to Zayns house and a drunk driver hit me, I’m fine now, being discharged tomorrow” I said breezily.

“Where did you get hurt?” Lee asked, not dropping the subject.

I sighed again and said “Had some internal bleeding or something and just a lot of bruises and cuts and a bit of memory loss which I gained back this evening actually” I mumbled

Lee let out a quiet whistle “You always did try to downplay things when you got hurt” he said.

I shrugged my shoulders innocently making Lee nudge me gently.

“How’s Zayn? He must have been going crazy when you got hurt. I know I would if you were my girlfriend” He said casually.

When he said that I nearly choked on my own spit and just stared at him in shock.

“What?” He asked innocently.

“How- How did you know Zayn and I were dating?” I asked him

He gave me a funny look and said “I’m not living under a rock you know, I saw the magazines when they came out with all the gossip and I figured out straight away it was you and you basically confirmed my suspicions before.”

Well the magazine part made sense; Lee had been my best friend for years so it made sense that he would have recognised me. “Wait you said I confirmed your suspicions before? When? How?” I asked him incredulously.

Lee shrugged and said “The way you said his name and the look that came over your face just confirmed it”

“Fair enough” I muttered.

“Are you staying here permanently?” I asked

“Not sure to be honest, it’s a temporary thing at the moment so at the least 6 months” he said thoughtfully.

“That’s great! I can’t wait till Zayn knows you’re here! It’s going to be just like old times!” I said excitedly.

“Yeah even Noah will be there to bug us” Lee said laughing while I froze and felt the colour drain from my face.

I tried to keep my voice steady as I asked Lee quietly “Noah’s back?”

Lee looked at me strangely, “Yeah he got back from Australia about two weeks ago, said it wasn’t the place for him” Lee said shrugging.

I tried to keep my breathing even. Noah was here. Oh my god Noah. I could feel the panic start to bubble in my chest but shoved it down quickly.

Lee had closed his eyes but was still talking so he couldn’t see the panic on my face.

“Even though he’s an annoying older brother I did miss him so I’m glad he’s back for good”

I gulped and was about to speak when the door to Lees room opened.

A nurse was standing there and looked surprised for a second before a kind smile came on her face. “I’m sorry love I’ve got to take you back to your room before any of the other nurses notice you’re gone” She said.

“Alright” I said softly and slowly got out of bed.

Lee stood up too and gave me a gentle hug before saying “I’ll call you so we can meet up! The whole gang!” Lee said smiling widely.

I gave him a small smile and said “Can’t wait”.

I walked towards the nurse and turned around to wave at him one last time and followed the nurse back to my room.
My emotions were swirling around and I didn’t know what to do.

I must have been really out of it because before I knew it the nurse was tucking me in and she quietly bustled out of the room.

I grabbed my phone from the night stand and saw I had a message. I opened it and saw it was from Zayn. “Hope you have a good sleep beautiful! I’ll see you first thing in the morning, as soon as they start letting visitors in. Stay safe, love you <3 p.s I have the varsity jacket of mine you love to wear so ill bring it with me J xo”

A smile crept onto my face as I read this and instantly felt a bit better after hearing the Noah news.

Noah.

What am I going to do? I can’t go through that again but who do I tell? Zayn? No he was already so stressed out and Nate? He would be completely lost and Lee? I can’t. He’s Noah’s younger brother. If I told Niall or Liam or any of the other boys they would tell Zayn.

I bit my lip nervously while I weighed out all my options. I couldn’t tell anyone. I didn’t tell anyone before and now it’s too late.

I stared at the ceiling lost in thought and drifted off to sleep.

**************************************************

“Bianca!” Noah yelled.

I whimpered and cringed back as he came charging at me, “you’re late!” He yelled, angrily gripping my arms so tight it would leave bruises. I was scared and cringed away from him again.

Big mistake.

Noah grabbed my hip and dug his nails into my skin before slamming me against a wall.

I let out a painful yelp and quickly gasped “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be late my mum needed help with some work”

“Alright that’s okay then” Noah said.

He really is bi-polar I thought to myself silently.

He suddenly smashed his lips to mine and I half heartedly responded, knowing if I didn’t he would just hit me.

When he finally pulled away he kissed my forehead and said “I have to go to work but after work you better be here” he threatened.

I quickly nodded and he smiled at me. He kissed me again and once he left did I allow myself to relax. I could feel the tears building up as I sank to the floor.

I wish Zayn were here. He was away at camp the whole summer and Lee was at staying at a friends Bach for the next two weeks. I was completely alone. I had some girlfriends but I couldn’t tell them. I don’t think I could tell anyone. How do I even tell them? Oh hey by the way at the beginning of the summer holidays you know Lee’s older, hot mysterious brother? Well yeah he asked me out and I said yes and he was really sweet till he started getting possessive and jealous which resulted in him hitting me and now I don’t know how to escape his clutches so I just take it day by day.

My phone rang suddenly and I picked it up quickly in case it was Noah.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Bianca its Jack from science and I was wondering if we had any homework today that I missed” he said

“Actually you missed quite a bit.” I said

“Crap…” he muttered “Can you meet me at the coffee shop so I can borrow your notes?”

I looked at the clock and saw I had ages till Noah was back, “Sure!” I replied.

I hung up and left Noah’s apartment and went home to grab my stuff and went to the coffee place and waited there.

Jack came shortly after I arrived and I gave him the notes and was going to leave straight away but he convinced me to stay for a little while and shouted me to a hot chocolate.

Time passed by quickly and when I looked at the time I was taken by surprise before the panic set in.

I said bye to Jack in a rush and thanked him for the hot chocolate and ran all the way to Nate’s apartment.

His car wasn’t there yet so I let out a breath of relief and walked into his apartment and shut the door. I wasn’t really paying attention but when I saw something from the corner of my eye I whirled around and gasped.

Noah was standing there looking angry as hell.

I gulped and slowly tried backing away before Noah reached out and grabbed a fist full of my hair and brought my face close to his. I let out a hiss of pain as he pulled my hair.

I gasped and sat up quickly in bed, my chest was moving up and down rapidly and I was panting like crazy trying to catch my breath. I started crying quietly and brought my knees up to my chest ignoring the slight pain it caused me.

I can’t do that again. I can’t face Noah. The memories were still fresh and my mind and I looked around the room desperately when I saw it.

The nurses cart. Someone must have left it behind.

I got out of bed and shakily walked towards and saw a pair of scissors in a sealed packet.

I grabbed them and went back to bed and opened the packet.

My breathing got heavier and the tears came faster as I pressed the blade against my thigh and pushed down quickly and made a slicing motion.

A gasp escaped my lips and I stared at my leg as blood slowly pooled to the surface. It wasn’t enough. I could still remember the nightmare and I wanted to forget it. This was the best way to forget.

I put the blade on the same place and pressed it in deeply and made several cuts. There was more blood now and I watched fascinated as it slowly seeped through my skin. That was much better.

I just focused on the blood and the stinging sensation coming from my leg.

I took deep breaths and just watched the blood. The tears hadn’t even stopped once, they were continuous. My eyes felt itchy and tired so I got out of bed, wrapped the scissors in some paper and chucked it in the bin. Then I got some more tissues and cleaned my leg and got rid of the evidence.

When I finally settled back into bed I was exhausted and lay down and shut my eyes and thought about Zayn.

Maybe I could tell him about Noah. He could help me.

But what if he told your parents or the police and just made it more dramatic then it needed to be I argued with myself. It would be my word against Noah’s. What would Lee think?

I just need to keep Noah away from me and I’ll be fine. I could protect myself I didn’t need anyone’s help.

But Zayn would want to protect me. Wouldn’t he?

One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles Chapter 16: One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles Chapter 16:

Hey guys, this is the longest I’ve taken to upload a new chapter and i’m sorry life is super hectic at the moment. If your still reading this story thank you! :) If you would like to read the other chapters just inbox me because the link on our page is not working at the moment and we’re trying to fix it. Would love feedback, good or bad give it to me ;) Enjoy lovelies! xx

One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles

Chapter 16:

Bianca’s POV:

I felt like I was floating, I wasn’t attached to my body. I couldn’t see anything, it was pitch black. I had no idea what was going on and that scared me a little. Suddenly it felt like I was being sucked back down into my body. I could feel again which wasn’t that great because I was beginning to feel the pain throughout my body.

I felt someone take a hold of my hand and then the softest pressure against my forehead I wasn’t sure if I had just imagined it. I tried to squeeze the hand back but everything was still pretty hazy and I wasn’t sure if I succeeded.

I heard a soft yelp and strained my ears for any more noises to give away where I was.

“She squeezed my hand!” Someone exclaimed! Something inside me stirred. I recognised that voice. I searched my brain but was coming up short. My body was feeling pretty sore so I stayed still and my eyelids felt heavy when I tried prying my eyes open but it was like they were glued shut.

I tried shifting again because I was feeling uncomfortable and I felt my hand move a little.

My body was responding slowly to what I was telling it to do so I gave up for a few minutes and tried focusing on the voices I could now hear which were getting louder and louder.

I heard someone say “Well he’s her boyfriend but we’re all friends”. I frowned when I heard that, who were they talking about? I tried to open my eyes again curious to see who the voices were coming from.

This time I could actually open my eyes but it was quite bright so my eyes fluttered for a bit while getting used to the sudden brightness.

I looked around the room in a daze and saw my mum and dad, Niall, Louis, Liam, Danielle, Harry and Zayn.

When my eyes spotted Zayn my heart started beating faster and my palms started getting sweaty. I felt complete and utter love for that boy before I quickly shook it off. Why was thinking like that about Zayn? I shrugged it off seeing as I wasn’t completely coherent.

I felt someone squeeze my hand and my head shot up to look at the person.

“Mum” I said croakily, my throat was all dry and scratchy so I just raised my arms up towards her.

Mum wrapped her arms around me and I started crying because I was so confused.

Mum kept making soothing sounds which calmed me down and when I felt like I wasn’t going to cry anymore I pulled away from mum and heard someone clear their throat.

I looked to find a doctor standing besides my bed smiling slightly before he said “Sorry I just need to check your vitals and ask you some questions to see how your memory is.”

I nodded and he checked my vitals while asking me some questions.

“What’s your full name?” He asked

“Bianca Danielle D’Souza” I responded.

“How old are you?”

“17”I said simply

“Date of Birth?” He asked

“27^th of June 1995?” I said

“Any idea what day it is?” He asked.

I tried to think what the last date I remember but my brain was still all foggy so I shook my head slowly.
The doctor frowned before asking “What’s the last thing you remember?”

I felt my forehead crinkle up as I tried to think about the last thing I remembered. Everything was a bit blurry in my mind but the clear thing I remember was Harry and Louis’ apartment warming apartment.

I hesitated for a second making sure I couldn’t remember anything else before answering “Harry and Louis party.”

“What did you say?” Someone said. Their voice cracked and I looked up and saw Zayn with a panicked look on his face. I wanted to jump out of bed and just hug him and never let go. I shook those thoughts out of my head quickly but continued to look at Zayn worriedly.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Mum asked.

I looked at mum a little worried now, “I don’t have a boyfriend” I said slowly. Why would she ask now of all places. I swear she’s crazy sometimes.

I heard the door open and snapped my head up to see Zayn running out the door. My forehead crinkled up with worry and I feel the biggest urge to go after him but the needle in my hand was stopping me from running after him.

I saw Niall look at me worriedly before he said “I’m sorry Bee, I’ll be back soon”

I nodded slowly and he sent a small smile my way but it seemed forced. Under the fake smile I could tell he looked stressed and nervous and I had no idea why.  The tension in the room had increased greatly and everyone was avoiding my gaze.

“Why did Zayn leave?” I asked, wincing when my voice came out louder than it was supposed to be.

Everyone looked and me uncertainly like they weren’t sure what to say and I was about to pull my hair out from frustration when Liam answered me.

“It’s hard for him to see you like this Bee. He just needed a breather”.

I looked into Liam’s eyes and saw there was probably more to it but I decided to leave it for now.

“Oh okay.” I glanced down at my body and realized I had no idea why I was even in hospital.

“Why am I in hospital?” I asked them

This time mum answered me “You were in a car crash sweetie, you were taken into surgery and you had some internal bleeding, a lot of cuts and a bit of memory loss.” She said softly her voice wavering a little as she struggled to stay in control of her emotions.

The doctor cleared his throat again and my head snapped up to meet him because I had completely forgotten he was in the room.

“We need to keep you here overnight then tomorrow morning I can discharge you. Your memory will come back to you, by the end of tonight at the latest” He said confidently, “Otherwise I think it’s better if you stay here a little longer.” He said seriously.

I nodded again.

He left the room and mum said she was going to go see if she could get me some real food and that she would be back real soon. She and dad left together and Harry and Louis came and sat on my bed while Liam and Danielle sat on some chairs.

“Bianca don’t ever do that to us again!” Louis said seriously not taking his eyes of me.

“I won’t but I was just wondering what happened to the other driver?”

Harry snorted and said “In another hospital, he got transferred. Bloody drunk driver” he muttered.

I opened my mouth to respond to Harry when I heard the door open and my head snapped up quickly to find Niall walking in by himself.

I felt disappoint rush through me and tried to keep a smile on my face but it felt more like a grimace.

“You okay?” Niall asked noticing my face fall.

“Yeah I’m good” I said, it sounded fake but if the others noticed it they didn’t say anything.

I cleared my throat and asked Niall “Is Zayn coming back?”

“Soon” Niall said comfortingly.

Mum came in not a second later with Mc Donald’s which I eagerly ate. 

Harry and Louis laughed at my eagerness but I just flipped them the bird while mum gasped and said “Bianca!”

I shrugged and continued eating and this time Liam Niall and Danielle joined in the laughter.

 My mum kissed my head and said “Your dad’s pretty tired and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t so we’re going home to catch up on our sleep. Call us if you need anything” She said sternly.

I smiled softly and said “I will” while giving her a hug.

“I know they’ll take care of you while I’m gone but still remember if you need me-“

“I’ll call you” I finished off for her.

She chuckled before kissing me on the cheek and I waved to her as she left.

I chatted with the boys and Danielle for ages and didn’t realize that hours had passed. I convinced that I was fine and to go get food at the cafeteria. They reluctantly left and I closed my eyes. I was just drifting off to sleep when I heard the door creek open and my eyes snapped open in hopes to see Zayn but I was surprised when I saw Nate at the door looking at me with wide and guilty eyes.

A gasp escaped my lips as memories came back of Nate pushing himself on me and me crying and running.

“You” I whispered.

He bit his lip   “Bianca I’m so so so sorry please forgive me! When I heard what happened I felt so guilty and I was so upset and please forgive me I’m so sorry!” He blurted out in one breathe.

I barely took in what he said because my mind was preoccupied with all the memories that were suddenly flooding through. Zayn and I fighting over cutting. The date on the boat. Kissing Zayn. Zayn Zayn Zayn. Oh my gosh Zayn is my boyfriend.

I cursed myself when I realized that was why he ran out of the room.

“Bianca?” Nate asked.

My eyes narrowed and I harshly said “Get out.”

“Bianca don’t-“

“Get out!” I screamed

The door slammed opened and Zayn looked around the room. When he saw me he relaxed but when he saw Nate his jaw clenched and his hands balled up.

“What’s going on?” He asked stiffly.

“Please just get him out of here” I cried.

“Get out Nate” Zayn said flatly his face blank of any emotion.

“But-“Nate started

“GET OUT” He said angrily. His eyes were blazing and he was beyond furious. “You made her cry now get out before I beat the shit out of you!”

Nate looked at me one last time before whispering “I’m so sorry” and he ran out of the room.

Zayn quickly strode over to me and wrapped his arms around me while making soothing sounds.

“I’m sorry” I mumbled.

Zayn pulled back and looked at me confused. “Why? You don’t have to be sorry for anything” He reassured me.

“Sorry I forgot.” I whispered. I felt him stiffen and I continued on quickly “When Nate came in something triggered my memories and I remember everything now” I said softly

Zayn let out a breath before crashing his lips to mine while I stayed frozen from shock before responding quickly. Moving my lips with his I felt him run his tongue along the bottom of my lip asking for entrance. I decided to tease him first and not open my mouth but when he bit my lip softly I gasped and he took full advantage of that and plunged his tongue into my mouth. I moaned and we continued kissing for what seemed like hours but were probably only a few minutes. We pulled apart and I tried to steady my heart beat. Zayn was breathing hard but he hadn’t looked away from eyes.

“I missed you” he whispered.

“I missed you too” I whispered back, my eyes tearing up.

Zayn gave me a quick kiss again and said “Don’t cry its fine now. I can’t wait to tell the others you got your memory back” He said grinning widely.

I smiled back at him and saw his eyebrows furrowed as he suddenly had a thought.

“Bianca…” He said slowly. “You remember everything right? So when you called me you were upset. What happened?” He asked

I swallowed and opened my mouth but nothing came out.

He frowned at me and cupped my face and said “You can trust me”

“Well after the sleepover I went home to catch up on my sleep and thought I heard someone open the front door. I assumed it was mum or dad so I kept my eyes closed and heard someone enter my room and then uh… kiss me. I-“

“What?!” Zayn roared

I glared at him “Let me finish!” I said

He pressed his lips together tightly and nodded at me to continue.

I hesitated. He was already so angry and this was just going to make him explode.

“Go on” He said gruffly.

“Well… um…” I stammered. “I opened my eyes quickly and saw it was Nate so I yelled at him and told him to get out but he was drunk and he didn’t want to leave so I went to leave but he grabbed me and then I noticed he was high too. He kissed me against my will and I hit him and ran and that’s when I called you and the accident happened “I whispered.

The whole time I had been looking down scared to see Zayns reaction so when I finally looked up I flinched back from the fury in his eyes.

“He forced himself on you?” he asked his voice sounding strained.

“I’m going to kill that fucker” He said sharply.

“Zayn please just leave it” I pleaded.

Zayns jaw clenched and he said to me angrily “You want me to leave it?! After all he did? You were in fucking car accident because of him and you want me to leave it?!” He yelled

I whimpered and Zayns gaze softened before a hard look overcame his eyes.

“I’m going to go deal with him” He said simply. His hands were still clenched into fists and his whole body was tense.

“Don’t leave me” I pleaded.

He looked torn. I knew he wanted so badly to hurt Nate, “Please?” I begged.

He sighed and got into bed next to me and wrapped his arms around me tightly. His whole body was still so I kissed his shoulder and heard him suck in a deep breath.
“I love you” I said softly

His whole body relaxed as he kissed me softly on the lips.

“I love you more” He whispered and I fell asleep in his arms dreaming of only him.

 

 

Listening to One Direction 20 years from now.

Children: Mum why do you have to keep listening to this old school music? It not that great...

Me: Don't let daddy hear you say that. And for the record it's still amazayn like your dad

One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles Chapter 15:

One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles

Chapter 15:

Zayns POV:

My phone rang and I sat up quickly and answered it, “Hello?” I said croakily

I heard Christine say shakily “Zayn you need to come to the hospital now.”

I panicked and quickly said “I’m on my way” and hung up in a rush.

Niall had woken up when my phone rang and stared at me with wide eyes.

“We have to go, we need to get to the hospital” I said in a rush freaking out completely.

Niall jumped out of bed and put a hand on my shoulder “Zayn calm down! We’ll leave now but I’ll drive you can’t drive like this” He said sternly.

“Fine.” I agreed quickly, I just had a bad feeling and knew we had to get to the hospital.

Everything after that was real hazy but as soon as I set foot inside the hospital everything got real again. I sighed and walked quickly with Niall by my side.

We found everyone in the waiting room and my heart dropped as my hands automatically clenched into fists. I rushed over to Bianca’s parents who looked stressed out and Louis, Harry and Liam were all avoiding my gaze.

“What’s wrong? Where is she?” I yelled frantically.

“She collapsed this morning and she had to go back into surgery” Christine whispered, tears falling down her face quickly. Ricky put his arm around her and began soothing her as she sobbed into his shoulder.

I looked away and tried to take deep breaths except I couldn’t. My mouth went dry and my breath caught in my throat.

Niall looked scared and the others looked nervous. I paced up and down in front of them, waiting for Bianca to come out of surgery.

Louis looked at me wearily and Harry was rubbing his eyes furiously trying not to cry. Liam kept tapping his foot impatiently and looked at all of us probably wondering what he could do to calm us down.

Every time a doctor walked through those doors my whole body would freeze and my breath would catch in my throat.

When the doctor didn’t make their way over here to where Christine and Ricky were I would resume pacing nervously.

I heard the doors open and snapped my head up in time to see the doctor making his way over, his face was blank from any emotion.

“Fuck” I whispered nervously and stood rigid waiting for him to say she was okay so I could relax a little.

My heart was beating furiously and my palms were all sweaty. All the boys stood up along with Bianca’s parents.

“Mr and Mrs D’Souza would you like to go to my office to talk?” the doctor asked them.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I could not wait any longer just tell us dammit! I silently screamed.

Christine must have seen my face and quickly said “Here’s fine, is she okay now?”

The doctor hesitated and looked at all of us.

“I’m so sorry she didn’t make it, we tried everything. I’m so very truly sorry.” He said quietly.

It was quiet for a full two seconds while everyone just stood there staring at him not believing a word he said.

I jumped when I heard Christine sobbing loudly. My heart raced 10 times faster than I thought was possible. I looked and saw Christine on the floor sobbing and Ricky stood there frozen but tears were falling down his face. Niall was whispering “No no no no no no” over and over again to himself and Liam stood there looking shocked.

Harry started crying and Louis looked like he was about to pull his hair out. Everyone was crying and I just stood there. My body felt numb and then it was like someone punched me in the stomach. I gasped as the pain ran through me and it felt like someone was choking me. They were cutting of my air supply.

I couldn’t breathe.

This was real.

Bianca.

She can’t be. She’s supposed to be okay.

My knees wobbled and I collapsed on the floor and started sobbing. My fingernails were digging into my palm drawing blood from how tightly my fists were clenched. Huge sobs wrecked my body and I was shaking all over, the tears were blinding my vision.

“NO!” I screamed as every part of me hurt in a way it never had before.

I tried sucking in a huge breath but it was like my lungs had shriveled up.
I couldn’t breathe and the sobs escaping my lips were getting louder and louder.

Someone was yelling my name and started shaking me.

——————————————————————————————————————————————-

I gasped and opened my eyes quickly. Niall was shaking me by the shoulders and looked relieved when he saw my open eyes.

I jumped out of bed “Bianca! Where’s Bianca?!” I yelled

“She’s still in the hospital, she’s fine it was just a dream Zayn we can go see her now she’s fine” he said soothingly.

I paused and drew in a few ragged breaths; I was covered in sweat from the dream. It had felt too real for my liking and I needed to see Bianca. Nothing could stop me I had to see after that horrible dream I thought shuddering.

“How- how did you know what I was dreaming about?” I asked him shakily, trying to catch my breath.

“You were crying in your sleep when I woke up and then you started screaming and…” Niall trailed off.

“And?” I asked Niall

“You stopped breathing for awhile and scared the shit out of me so that’s when I started shaking you awake and started yelling your name” he whispered.

“Sorry” I told him sincerely. I didn’t mean to give him such a scare.

“What’s the time?” I asked him

“Just a little after 8, visiting hours start at 8:30 and Christine texted me saying to make sure we have showers and eat before we come.” Niall said.

I nodded and grabbed some clean clothes, “I’ll go for a shower first you can go next” I told Niall.

He nodded and looked at me hesitantly. I raised my eyebrow at him questioningly.

“Do you wanna talk about the dream?” he asked hesitantly.

I shook my head slowly and said “There’s not much to talking about honestly. It was just my worst nightmare.”

“I can imagine” Niall murmured. He looked up at me and said softly “She’ll be okay. It’s Bianca she has to be.”

I cracked a small smile for Nialls sake and tried to sound confident “She will be fine. Like you said it’s Bianca”

Niall nodded but still looked upset.

“Go eat something while I have a shower okay?” I said

“Alright” Niall said tiredly

I walked into my bathroom and had a quick shower; it felt good, like it was washing away all the reminders of the dream.

I changed into some new clothes quickly and felt fresh and walked into the kitchen to see Niall eating a lot of food which was something he did when he was really upset.

“Niall you have a shower then we’ll go to the hospital and you can see for yourself that Bianca’s going to be fine”

“Okay I’ll be quick and I’ll just borrow some of your clothes?” He asked.

“Yeah help yourself to anything” I said nodding towards my room.

“Thanks man, I won’t be long we can go see Bianca soon” he replied.

I nodded and he left to have a shower. I wasn’t hungry but I just forced myself to at least eat a slice of toast and drank some coffee as well.

It wasn’t long before Niall was out of the shower and we were making our way to my car.

Niall held out his hand to me and said “Keys?”

I sighed but handed them over; as long as we got to the hospital I didn’t really care.

Niall drove quickly and soon we were outside the hospital and I froze.

Niall bumped into me and looked at me with concern.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

I bit my lip and drew in a shaky breath and said “It feels like my dream all over again and I’m scared to enter because I don’t want my dream to come true. I can’t live without her Niall. I just can’t.”

“Well that’s not going to happen. She’s going to be fine. We’re in this together.” he said.

I took a deep breath and said “Your right she’s going to be fine. She’s going to wake up.”

I walked in slowly feeling a bit hesitant but Niall was at my side the whole time.

When we got to the waiting room Harry and Louis were there with Bianca’s parents but Liam and Danielle were nowhere in sight.

Christine stood up when she saw us and when I was in front of her she gave me a big hug and said happily “She’s going to wake up soon”

“Everything’s okay? She’s fine? Nothing happened during the night?” I asked frantically.

“Nothing happened she’s going to be okay Zayn” she said smiling warmly at me.

I let out a huge sigh of relief and felt my eyes pricking with tears because I couldn’t believe it. She was going to be okay. It felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

I gave Christine another hug and went and sat down next to Harry who turned to me with a smile on his face.

“I can’t wait till she wakes up; she’s going to get a yelling from me for scaring me like that!” Harry exclaimed.

“You’ll have to beat me to it” Niall said seriously.

“Oh me three I’m gonna have a go at her as well” Louis added.

I laughed softly and could almost feel things going back to normal. Almost.

“Where are Liam and Danielle?” I asked Louis

“Cafeteria, they went to grab something to eat they should be back soon.” Louis replied

I nodded silently and turned to look at Ricky “When do we get to see her?” I asked

“Soon, we are going to check with the doctors now.” He replied.

He disappeared with Christine trying to find a doctor to talk too when Liam and Danielle walked in.

“Zayn!” Danielle exclaimed giving me a hug.

I hugged her back and said “Hey Danni”

“Where did Christine and Ricky go?” Liam asked

“They went to find a doctor to see if we could wait in Bianca’s room till she wakes up.”

Liam nodded and then Christine walked out and called us over.

We all walked over quickly and followed her to Bianca’s room.

When I walked in my eyes straight away landed on Bianca and my heart dropped a little again.

She looked better than yesterday but I still hated seeing her like this. I just wish she had never gotten hurt. I hated that truck driver and felt anger wash over me.

I walked to her bed slowly and held her hand. It was soft and warm like yesterday.  I felt myself calm down by just being near her.

I leant in and kissed her on the forehead.

I went to go stand back a little when her hand squeezed mine slightly. I let out a quiet yelp from surprise.

Christine and the others looked at me worriedly.

“She squeezed my hand!” I exclaimed.

A look of relief washed across everyone’s face and Christine’s soon changed to excitement.

“She’s going to wake up soon! Ricky go get a doctor.”

Ricky high tailed out of the room faster than lightening and soon the doctor was in the room. He was checking Bianca’s charts when I noticed Bianca’s hand twitch.

I wasn’t the only one that noticed because the doctor paused and looked up at Bianca’s face.

I was already watching her face intently for any movement.

While we were waiting for her to fully wake up the doctor started talking to us.

“So are you all friends of Bianca’s?” He asked.

“Yup!” Niall proudly said but then looked at me and said “Well he’s her boyfriend but we’re all friends”

The doctor chuckled and then stopped short when Bianca’s eyes started fluttering open. I stepped forward anxiously waiting with the others.

Bee looked around the room in a daze and when her eyes met mine I saw them flash with emotion but it was gone before I could detect what it was.

Christine was standing at Bianca’s side and squeezed her hand. Bianca’s head snapped up to look at Christine before her eyes started watering.

“Mum” she said croakily reaching her hands out like a little child.

Christine swept her into an instant hug and made soothing sounds while Bianca cried and I shifted uncomfortably wanting to comfort her and stop her crying.

When Bee and Christine broke apart the doctor cleared his throat grabbing their attention as well as ours.

“Sorry I just need to check your vitals and ask you some questions to see how your memory is.” The doctor said.

Bianca nodded and the doctor checked her vitals while asking her questions.

“What’s your full name?” He asked.

“Bianca Danielle D’Souza” Bee said

“How old are you?” He asked

“17” she replied.

“Date of birth?” He questioned

“27^th of June 1995” she said

“Any idea what day it is today?” he asked

She shook her head slowly.

The doctor frowned and asked her “What’s the last thing you remember?”

Her forehead crinkled as she concentrated and hesitated before answering Harry and Louis’ party.

I froze and stared at her not sure I heard right.

“What did you say?” I asked my voice cracking.

Bee looked at me worriedly while the others looked between is making the same connection I did.

We only started dating a few days after the party. Does that mean she doesn’t remember that I’m her boyfriend?

Christine’s eyes flashed to my face and saw the look of panic before turning to Bianca and saying “Do you have a boyfriend?”

Bianca frowned looking confused and I held my breath as I waited for her to answer and felt someone squeeze my arm reassuringly.

“I don’t have a boyfriend” she said slowly looking at her mum like she was crazy.

Those 5 words made my heart shatter and I ran out of the room unable to breathe.

This can’t be happening I thought shutting my eyes tightly wishing it was all a dream.

Anyone reading my fanfic “Around in circles” I will be posting tomorrow night. That’s my aim so i shall stay up late to finish writting tonight so it ready for tomorrow! Sorry its been a few days since i posted, i’m back at school so things are hectic! Thanks for reading if you are! :) So chapter 15 will be up tomorrow!x

touchme-niall-deactivated201208 asked - "make a page, attach the links to your fic, and either click show link to page, or make the link. c:"

make a page?!?! :O

….how?

xoxoxo

shanks btw

One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles Chapter 13:

One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles

Chapter 13:

Bianca’s POV:

I woke up to smell of food, I opened my eyes slowly and looked around. Liam and Danielle were fast asleep in each other’s arms; I controlled the urge to ‘Awww’ at how cute they looked! Harry must have moved around a lot in his sleep because his head was now where his feet were, he had done a 180 turn and Louis was drooling a little. I grabbed my phone off the floor and took a quick picture and chuckled quietly. I was so going to hold this against him. I looked at Zayn next and saw he was also still fast asleep. I look down at our intertwined hands and tried to remember when that had happened, I mean I woke up and we were holding hands. I don’t even remember how that happened.

Oh my gosh he looks so cute, I snapped a picture on my phone of him as well. I sighed at how adorable he looked. I leant in and kissed him on the cheek and slowly removed my hand from his, my hand suddenly felt cold though without his and I sat up slowly and checked the time on my phone.

It was nearly noon so I stretched and quietly got up. I could hear Niall singing ‘Somebody to Love’ by Justin Bieber quietly and I joined in him in the kitchen to help him with whatever he was cooking.

“Morning” I said yawning.

“Hey Bee, wanna help make pancakes?” He asked

“Sure!” I said brightly, I loved pancakes! One of my favorite foods for sure and Niall knew it!

Niall got out another pan so we were cooking pancakes side by side.

We ended up cooking heaps and my mouth was watering by the end of it, I couldn’t wait to dig in, me and Niall together of course already stole a few and ate them while cooking, they were just too tempting.

Suddenly everyone seemed to be waking up from the Lounge, I could hear them groaning and me and Niall chuckled and took the food over to the dining table with plates and cutlery.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when Niall yelled “BREAKFAST IS READY! COME AND GET IT!” in a loud booming voice.

Niall laughed when he saw I got a fright and I shoved him slightly and said “oh shut up.”

I heard a whole bunch of footsteps making their way to the table so Niall and I sat down next to each other and started grabbing the biggest pancakes.

“PANCAKES!” Louis screamed sitting down and grabbing some quickly.

I laughed and felt someone stand behind me. I lifted my head and saw Zayn; I smiled at him and said “Morning sleepy head”

“Morning” he said and leant down giving me a quick kiss before he took a seat next to me on the other side.

Liam, Danielle and harry sat down too and soon all you could hear was the clinking of the cutlery on the plates because everyone was too busy stuffing their faces to talk.

“This is so good!” Harry moaned.

“I helped make it!” I said

“Yeah but it’s my secret recipe!” Niall said winking.

“Well it’s delicious” Louis said with his mouth full. Well I think that’s what he said; it was hard to understand him when he kept stuffing his face with food.

By the end of it I felt sick from eating so much. I looked down at my stomach and got angry with myself. Why did I eat so much? I looked around the table and saw everyone was still eating. I pushed my chair back and went to stand up when Zayn put his hand on my knee.

“Are you done eating?” He asked.

“Yeah I’m pretty full, just gonna go to the bathroom” I replied

“Oh okay” Zayn said nodding

I got up and made my way to the bathroom. When I went in I shut the door and made sure it was locked. I put the tap on and went over to the toilet and stuck three fingers down my throat and made myself throw up. I shouldn’t have eaten so much.

When I was done heaving up my stomach I heard someone knock on the door.

“Two Minutes!” I yelled out.

I walked to the sink and rinsed out my mouth and washed my face, when I looked decent I unlocked the door and found Niall standing there.

He quickly walked in before I even had the chance to walk out; he wrinkled up his nose and said “Did you throw up?”

“What?” I asked him shocked.

“I have a sensitive nose” He explained, “And it smells like puke”

“Uh, I think I just ate a little too much and it made me sick, but don’t worry I’m fine now” I said quickly.

Niall frowned at me suspiciously and I quickly said “Well it’s all yours now” and walked out into the living room where everyone chilling.

Zayn looked up at me when I entered the room and held out his arms to me.

I smiled at him and quickly sat down in between his legs and rested my back on his chest.

He rested his chin on my shoulder and I could feel him staring at me.

At first I just ignored him but he just kept staring so I gave in and turned my head to face him, “What?” I asked

He shook his head at me and said “You’re going to think this is incredibly cheesy but you look so beautiful and I just got distracted.”

I snorted and said “Right sure. You’re one to talk babe, you wake up looking like a freaking sex god for crying out loud.”

“Sex god?” Zayn asked smirking.

I groaned and said “I take it back!”

“Nope no take backs!” he argued.

“Whatever” I muttered.

He laughed at my comeback and kissed me on the cheek and said “God you know I love you right?”

My heart started beating faster when he said that, I know I loved Zayn already, like really loved him but I wasn’t sure how he felt and whenever he said he loved me it just made me melt.

“Love you more” I said softly.

“I wish I could wake up next to you every morning” he said sighing.

“Can’t wait till the married life right” he said.

After he said that I was struggling to remain calm. Did he mean he couldn’t wait till we would get married? Would we get married someday? I thought about it and I could actually see myself walking down the aisle to meet him, I couldn’t picture anyone else.

I shook my head quickly, oh my god what am I thinking?! That would be in the far far far future.

Get a grip Bianca! I told myself.

We all stayed at Harry and Lou’s till like 3 in the afternoon just chatting. I still felt like I needed to catch up on some sleep. We had said bye to everyone and left. Zayn was driving back to his apartment, and then I would take the car home and hopefully catch up on my sleep.

When we pulled into Zayns car park, I leant closer to him and kissed him. We kissed for several minutes before we pulled apart breathing hard.

“That was a lot of fun, thanks for coming and making it special” Zayn said kissing me again.

“That was nothing, I had so much fun, and I can’t wait till the next slumber party!” I told him excitedly.

He laughed softly and said “You never fail to amaze me”

I looked at him confused but he shook his head and gave a last sweet kiss before saying goodbye.

I watched him walk away and before he entered the elevator he turned around and blew me a kiss and I blew him one back.

I chuckled as I pulled out of the car park and started driving home.

I always said if I were in a relationship I wouldn’t be one of those sickingly sweet couples but Zayn honestly just made me all giggly and girly and I couldn’t help it. I had a big smile on my face the entire way home.

When I got home, just as I entered I bumped into my parents, I looked at my dad angrily because I just had all this hate building up but I couldn’t even voice my opinion so I just stayed quiet and kept my face blank from any emotion.

Mum gave me a hug and said “Hope you had fun at the sleepover! We just got called into work, a big meeting is going to happen, we’ll be home later tonight, don’t wait up!”

She kissed me on the cheek and walked out quickly, my dad followed her but not before giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

I shut the door and rubbed my face quickly, I knew it was immature but things with my dad were just rocky.

I walked up to my room, dragging my feet because a wave of tiredness washed over me.

I collapsed onto my bed and closed my eyes and waited for sleep to come, I couldn’t be bothered changing, I was in sweats and a t-shirt anyway, that was comfy.

 

I thought I heard the front door open and cracked my eyes open a tiny bit. It was really dark so I figured it was still late at night and my parents were probably home. I shut my eyes again and relaxed and just listened to the footsteps that were now making their way upstairs.

They paused outside my room and my door opened. I still kept my eyes shut, I was half asleep and I figured it was just mom checking on me.

I heard them come into my room and I felt like funny. I had a bad feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach and I didn’t like it.

Suddenly I felt the softest pressure on my lips and my eyes opened instantly in shock.

I jumped back and sat up quickly.

“Nate?! What the fuck?!” I yelled.

I wiped my lips on the back of my hand fiercely.

Nate stood their looking shocked, “I- I thought you were asleep.” He stammered. “I was going to kiss you on the forehead but I just wanted to know what it would feel like” He said quickly.

“What are you doing here?” I asked him angrily

“You didn’t answer my text and I couldn’t sleep so I came to see if you wanted to hang out?”  He said shrugging.

I just stared at him.

“Get out.” I said flatly.

“What?” He asked his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Get out!” I said raising my voice.

“You can’t just kiss me Nate! I have a boyfriend!”

He scoffed and said “When will you realize that you like me not him.”

I glared at him and clenched my fists tightly. I was trying really hard not to punch him when I realized he was drunk. I can’t believe I didn’t smell the alcohol on him earlier.

When I looked into his eyes I saw they were a little bloodshot.

“Nate did you drive here drunk?!” I demanded.

“No I walked.” He said slowly.

“Well walk yourself home because I’m pissed at you.” I said.

“No you love me” he said simply.

“Fuck off Nate okay I’m being nice here just go I’ll talk to you later.” I said looking away. I can’t believe he kissed me. I sighed when I realized I would have to tell Zayn.

“Oh and give me back the spare key?” I told him.

“Why?” He asked shocked.

“So this doesn’t happen again” I responded harshly

“No.” He said staring at me challengingly.

I got off the bed and stood in front of him.

“Give me the fucking key Nate” I hissed

“Okay.” He said

I raised my eyebrows suspiciously but held out my hand.

“Only if you give me a kiss.” He said

“You know what Nate, I’m done, and you’re drunk we can talk when you’re sober. Maybe, but now you just need to fucking get lost.”

I went to walk past him to show him the door but he grabbed me by my shoulders and pressed me against the wall.

“Nate get off!” I yelled trying to push his body away from mine.

He grabbed my hands with one hand and held them tightly by my side and whispered “Kiss me”

“No.” I said struggling against his hold, this was not Nate.

He laughed and I froze. When he moved I saw something sticking out of his jacket pocket.

“Are you high Nate?” I whispered.

“Maybe” he replied grinning widely.

I shrank back into the wall.

I had only ever seen Nate high once besides this time and it was not pretty. It had the worst effect on him.

“Nate let me go.”I demanded.

His grip on me tightened and he grabbed my face roughly with one hand and pressed his lips against mine. I thrashed in his arms and tried to move my face but his hold was too tight. He was hurting my jaw with his strength.

I started crying which made him stop. “Shit Bianca I’m so sorry, don’t cry, please don’t cry.”He said while wiping the tears of my face.

His grip had loosened and he was distracted so I took this as my chance and kneed him in the balls and shoved him away from me with all the strength I could muster.

He went stumbling to the floor and I grabbed my phone and keys from the tables next to me and ran.

I ran down the stairs and heard him shout at me, I started crying harder and ran faster to my car. I could hear him running behind me and I freaking out and pushed myself to run faster. I got in the car and started it quickly and pulled out of the driveway. I saw him trip and fall and I relaxed a little bit as I drove away from him.

I was at the traffic lights that were red and I couldn’t stop crying I couldn’t calm down. I needed Zayn. I picked up my phone with shaky hands and speed dialed Zayn and put him on speaker.

“Hello?” Zayn answered groggily.

“Zayn I’m so sorry” I said sobbing.

“Bianca? Bianca what’s wrong?! Where are you?” He asked frantically.

“I’m on my way to yours” I said crying.

“Whatever happened I promise to do my best to fix it” Zayn said soothingly.

The light turned green so I started going forward when I heard someone’s horn blaring from behind me. Before I could look in the rear view mirror I saw something from the corner of my eye and turned my head to the right.

I screamed when I saw an oncoming truck, the head lights were on bright so I had to squint. I stamped my foot on the gas but I wasn’t quick enough because the truck collided with my car and I screamed again as the car spun out of control and flipped over.

I hit my head on the window and screamed again from the pain coursing through me.

I saw the glass shatter and shut my eyes tightly as it cut into my skin.

I was stinging all over from the cuts on my body and my head was pounding. Blood was dripping from my head and blurring my vision. My whole body felt as if it was on fire. Everything was hurting and it was all too much. I couldn’t breathe properly. I’m going to die I thought. There was blood everywhere, I was covered in it and I didn’t even know where half of it was coming from because my whole body was aching.

 I blacked out from the pain and the last thing I heard were sirens in the distance and a lot of screaming.

Anonymous asked - "wait harry has a gf in the fic? who is it again i cant remember? love it btw xx"

shanks

not yet bebz, soon… check out chap 2 for a hint ;)

xoxoxo

fateofthestar asked - "I'm Kelsey. I'm quiet and shy when you're first meeting me, but once I'm comfortable, I'm loud and I laugh a lot. I burst out singing sometimes. I'm 5'2" and have brown hair, blue eyes, and I'm pretty pale. I love reading and theatre."

NIALL HORAN

xoxoxo

Anonymous asked - "chapter 13?"

still needs to me written babe :D

will lettcha kno when thats done

xoxoxo

One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles

Chapter 12:

Bianca’s POV:

Zayn and I were holding hands as we walked to Harry and Louis apartment. We stopped outside their door but before I could knock Zayn pulled me to him and pressed his soft sweet lips on mine. The kiss had my head spinning, and my heart was beating furiously. I loved the feelings that coursed through me; they made me feel even more alive.

He pulled away slightly and leant his forehead against mine, we were both pretty breathless, He smiled at me and I just melted because it was a full on smile with his dimples and everything and it was just too much to handle.

“What was that for?” I asked him, still a little breathless.

“Just cause” he replied smirking.

Suddenly someone knocked on the door from the inside. I looked curiously while Zayn chuckled, Louis yelled “I KNOW YOU’RE OUT THERE MAKING BABIES SO GET DECENT! You have 3 seconds.”

“Oh my god” I muttered burying my face in Zayns shoulder while he laughed.

I heard the door open and leaned back to see Louis there; he winked at me and said “You get dressed fast”

Zayn slapped him on the back of the head and I giggled as he groaned.

Louis pouted and said “I just don’t want to be an uncle so soon!”

This time I smacked him and walked through the door while Zayn just followed me laughing the whole time.

I saw Niall getting something out of the fridge, but before I could say hi, Harry ran past me and yelled “NIALL STOP EATING ALL THE FOOD DAMMIT! You just got here!”

I chuckled and put my bag down in the living room and walked into the kitchen to see Niall and Harry arguing about if it was too early or not to eat food. When they saw me they forgot about their fight and yelled “Bee!” I tackled them into a hug and said innocently “I’m hungry”

Harry groaned and said “Fine go eat all the food, but later tonight if we run out you two are responsible got it?”

“Okay!” Niall and I said smiling widely.

Harry walked out of the kitchen muttering under his breath. When he walked out Niall and I burst out laughing.

“So anything good?” I asked opening the fridge.

“I was going for an ice block” Niall said

“Oh yum!” I said grabbing the strawberry flavored one while Niall grabbed the green one.

“Of course you would pick green” I said teasingly.

Niall smirked and said “An Irishmen wants what he wants”

I chuckled and started eating my ice block. I hopped on the counter and Niall sat next to me. I noticed him staring at me so I looked over and saw a serious look on his face. I mentally groaned, this can’t be good.

“What’s up?” I asked him.

He shrugged and just said “I was wondering how you’ve been, so how are you?” he asked.

“Fine” I replied shrugging.

“Just fine?” Niall asked raising his eyebrows.

Niall always had like a 5^th sense, he knew when something was wrong and he could tell when I was lying really well, better than Zayn.

“What’s wrong with fine?” I asked defensively

“I know what fine means Bianca” he scolded.

“Okay things are not fine, is that what you want to hear?” I asked throwing my hands up in exasperation.

He opened his mouth but got cut off by the yelling in the living room. The boys had started to play Wii.

“What’s wrong?” He asked gently.

I sighed; Niall knew about my cutting, I had told him awhile ago. I hadn’t told anyone else but Niall just understood what I was going through so I told him.

“Everything” I whispered softly, looking at the floor, “Even though I’m dating Zayn and that makes me so happy, but when I get home and I’m all alone it just gets me down. Its hard being an only child I guess but in some ways I’m glad. I wouldn’t want them to have to deal with half the shit I’ve been put through.” I said.

Niall sighed and said “So it’s gotten worse?”

“Yeah. It got better for awhile and I actually thought things were going to be okay, but then dads drinking got worse. I hate it Niall, I hate dealing with it. I don’t want to but I don’t even get a fucking choice, he’s a horrible drunk and mums too in love with him to leave and I’m not coping well at all.” I whispered.

“I was getting along with him, things were normal, I actually felt like I was close to my dad. Then the drinking started again and I just I hate him. I really do, I hate how he can’t not drink, I hate how he acts, and it’s so embarrassing. He embarrasses me but worse he scares me sometimes. I don’t feel safe half the time” I whispered.

I was trying really hard not to cry and Niall noticed and hugged me and said “It’s okay just let it out.”

His fists were clenched and he muttered “I hate the bastard for making you cry, I saw the good side of him when he was sober, but I’ve seen him when he’s drunk and I hate that you have to go through that, I’ll always be here for you. If you don’t feel safe again call me and I’ll pick you up straight away, no matter what.”

“Thanks potato” I said smiling a little.

Niall chuckled and said “You don’t have to make jokes so soon you know”

“I just don’t like talking about this, I feel like shit talking about it so let’s just have a fun night.”

He took his arm off me and jumped off the counter; I followed his actions but went to the sink and washed my face so no one could tell I was crying.

When I dried my face Niall said “That’s a handy trick, I would never be able to tell you’ve been crying” he said honestly shocked.

I laughed and said “I have a lot of tricks up my sleeve”

He frowned and said “I don’t like that” he admitted.

“Why?” I asked

“Because how will I be able to tell if you’ve been upset” He said.

“Niall” I sighed “I would tell you, promise”

“Good” He said smiling at me. “Now let’s go join the Wii game so I can kick your butt”

I scoffed and said “yeah right I’d like to see you try.”

We walked into the living room to see the Harry and Louis in an intense tennis match; they were both waving the Wii remotes widely. I laughed at how serious they were. I looked around and noticed Zayn looked a little tense.

I went and sat next to him and noticed his hand was clenched into a fist.

“Hey you okay?” I asked softly.

He stiffly nodded and I frowned at him.

He sighed and said “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but I heard what you said about your dad”

“Oh” I replied, I was a bit surprised and wasn’t sure what to say.

“Are you mad at me?” Zayn asked taking my hand in his. “I’m so sorry I just came to get a drink and see if you and Niall were done eating and I heard a little bit.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry about it, I would have told you anyway” I replied.

“I hope you would have” he said seriously.

I rolled my eyes “You know I would.”

The doorbell rang and Niall ran to the door yelling “I’LL GET IT!”

I laughed at how excited he was and he had to run to the door when no one else was even racing him.

Liam and Danielle walked in; I raised my eyebrows at them and said “You guys took your time?”

I saw Zayn waggling his eyebrows at them from the corner of my eye and couldn’t help the giggle that escaped my lips.

Danielle raised her eyebrows at me and Zayn and said “Oh really? You two are gonna play that card?”

“Never mind” I replied quickly.

Niall laughed at my quick response while Liam shook his head at us.

We all lay out our sleeping bags and decided who would be sleeping where. Niall was having the main couch while the rest of us were on mattress in the floor. We were talking, laughing and eating and I was thinking to myself, I love it when we are all together. It just felt special, I always so happy around any of them and when we all together I was just beyond happy. I felt safe, like the sadness that I have to push away couldn’t touch me.

We were all lying down groaning, we were so full from all the junk food we had just eaten but Niall was the only one who was fine.

“I don’t know why you guys are groaning that was great!” Niall said enthusiastically.

We groaned louder and he laughed, “What should we do now?” Liam asked.

“Let’s play that truth game!” Harry said.

“What truth game?” I asked

“The; never have I game!” Louis said.

“Explain it I can’t remember” Liam said

“I think it goes like 1 person will say something they have never done and if any of us have done it we take a shot of something right?” Danielle asked.

“Yeah that’s it!” Harry said.

“We can do shots of coke?” Lou suggested.

“I’m game” Zayn said shrugging.

“Alright let’s get in a circle” Harry said. “Louis get some coke and 8 shot glasses”

Louis got up and hurried to the kitchen while the rest of us got into a circle on all the mattresses.

Louis came back soon and we all took a shot glass, Louis poured coke in them all and we sat them in front of us.

“Okay who’s going first?” Liam asked.

“I will!” Louis said, “Okay, Never have I… been skinny dipping!”

Danielle and Harry drank from their shot glasses, Harry wasn’t a surprise but Danielle was. Even Liam looked surprised. “When did this happen?” he asked.

“Dance camp, two years ago” she said.

Louis refilled their shot glasses and said “okay we’ll go clockwise so Harry your next”

“Never have I…dyed my hair” Harry said.

I was the only one to drink a shot and Louis passed me the bottle to refill it for the next round.

It was now Zayns turn, “Never have I eaten an avocado”

Everyone had a shot and Niall was looking at Zayn in shock “Mate really?!” Niall asked.

“Yup, never tried it” Zayn said.

“Weirdo” Niall muttered.

I chuckled and then when we were all refilling our glasses I was trying to think what I could say since it was my turn.

“Never have I… danced naked” I said

Harry, Louis, Liam, Niall and Zayn all drank their shots while me and Danielle sat there open mouthed.

“What-When-Why?” I spluttered

“We just have” Liam said shrugging.

“Together?” Danielle shrieked laughing.

“Wouldn’t you like to know” Harry said winking.

“Ugh gross Harry let’s just continue the game” I said.

Niall was next, “Never have I had sex!” 

No one drank this time. We all eyed each other to see if we were going to change their minds but nobody made a move for their shot glass.

“Well then I guess it’s my turn” Danielle said.

“Never have I ordered dessert first at a restaurant”

Niall, Zayn, Harry and I drank from our shot glasses.

“Never have I gotten drunk” Liam said.

Niall, Zayn and Louis drank from their shot glasses.

“Never have I got caught wanking” Harry said.

“That’s not true!” Niall yelled, “Remember that time when you thought everyone was sleeping but-“

“OKAY NEVER MIND!” Harry yelled cutting of Niall, “I’ll just count that as mine but since I have done it I’ll drink from my shot glass” Harrys said.

So Harry, Zayn, Liam, Niall and Louis all drank from their glasses.

I burst out laughing when they all drank, “Let me guess, you each have walked in on the other?”

“Yeah pretty much” Niall said shuddering.

“Oh my god.” Is said covering my mouth trying to stop the laughter that was seeping through.

When we had all calmed down Louis said “Never have I…cut before.”

I saw Zayn and Niall glance at me quickly and I froze for a second before I took my shot glass with shaky hands and gulped it down.

I could feel their eyes on me and just quietly refilled my glass. Someone grabbed the shot glass out of my hand and I was crushed from all sides in this massive group hug.

“Guys” I groaned.

They all pulled away and I shifted uncomfortably, I didn’t like being the centre of attention.

“Let’s watch movie?” Zayn suggested shooting me a look.

I smiled at him gratefully and Niall quickly hopped up and started looking for a movie.

We were arguing over Hangover 2 or Bridesmaids but in the end we went with hangover two.

We pushed all the mattress together so we were all lying down in a row; even Niall joined us from the couch.

Zayn put his arm around me and I snuggled into him as we watched the movie.

It was a pretty funny movie but Zayn kept distracting me with little kisses here and there and when he laughed his whole chest would vibrate and his arm was rubbing my side. I was basically trying not to hyperventilate when my focus wasn’t on the TV.

After that movie we decided on Toy Story, well Liam decided but we were too tired to argue, plus we all loved toy story.

I was getting pretty sleepy by the end of the movie and I could already hear Harry softly snoring and Niall munching on some chips.

I yawned and felt Zayn playing with my hair. I knew I was going to fall asleep soon so I tilted my head up and kissed Zayn on his jaw before snuggling into him and said “Goodnight”

I got a loud chorus of “Night!” from around the room and felt Zayn chuckle and hum quietly, the last thing I remember was thinking I wish I could fall asleep in his arms every night. 

DIRECTIONERS: reblog and put your city and country under, and lets see how diverse this fandom really is:

1. the closet, narnia
2. AUCKAND, NEW ZEALAND