Hopeless Dreams: Ziall Fanfic!

Chapter 1:

The fans were screaming so loud i couldn’t hear myself think. This. is. insane. I took a deep breath and looked over my shoulder to see Harry full on grinning and i felt the corners of my mouth start to rise. I let my gaze shift across the room to see Liam and Louis bouncing with excitement and a chuckle escaped from my lips. There was small movement from the corner of my eye and my attention shifted to the one and only Niall Horan. I felt my heart pick up speed but brushed it off as excitement from the concert we had just performed. Niall was looking ecstatic and was hugging himself as he bounced lightly on his feet and i could just see the waves of excitement rolling off him. My smile widened as Niall looked at me and suddenly attacked me with a hug. I laughed lightly and wound my arms around his neck and breathed in the scent of Niall and felt myself relax instantly. Niall had his arms wrapped tightly around me and his face was buried in my chest. When he pulled back we just grinned widely at each other. 

“Niall you were amazing! I don’t know how you do it! You hit every note perfectly mate” I said 

Niall started blushing as the blood rushed to his cheeks and the tip of his ears turned pink.

“Shut up man” He said playfully trying to sound gruff. Notice i said trying.

Niall noticed my pathetic attempts at trying to hide my laughter and lightly bumped my should before a serious expression dawned on his face. 

“Zayn seriously those high notes i swear you’re not fucking human” Niall said with a slight irish accent that became noticeable when Niall started swearing. 

Hearing Niall swear sent a slight shiver through me which i held back. I didn’t quite know how to respond and before i could make a fool out of myself Liam came over and threw an arm around Niall and I and said “That was amazing! I can’t believe it’s our last concert for the tour!

“I can’t believe it either! It was incredible man i can’t wait till our next tour!” Niall said excitedly. 

The thing about Niall is when he’s super excited his words tend to mush together making it nearly impossible to understand what he was trying to say in the first place but i was completely used to it by now. Liam on the other hand looked down at Niall with a confused expression and i bit my lip to hold back the laughter that was bubbling up at the back of my throat. 

Niall of course was completely oblivious to Liam’s confused expression and keep on chattering at full speed at i took this time to really look at him. His blonde hair was sticking up in all directions and he was still in his concert clothes, he wore a tight red shirt that showed his biceps off really well and tight beige pants that left a little to the imagination. I was so focused on Niall that it took me awhile to register that Liam was waving his hand in front of my face. 

“Hello? Earth to Zayn?! Where is your head at?” Liam asked

I chuckled nervously, thankful no one could read my thoughts. What was i thinking? Niall is my best friend seriously i need to sleep. Yeah thats it i’ll just sleep off whatever that was. This time i received a light slap on the cheek.

“Hey!” I said accusingly while narrowing my eyes at Liam.

Liam quickly raised his hands up and said “Wasn’t me! I’m innocent i swear!”

“Sorry Zayn you were totally in a zone just then but i’m hungry” Niall said pouting.

I wonder what it would feel like to bite his lower lip… 

Suddenly Niall started snapping his fingers in front of my face and i jumped a little from the sound.

Niall looked at me worriedly “I think you’re sleep walking right now, let’s get you in bed.” He said as he linked his arm through mine and pulled me along to the car we were all gonna ride in on the way back to the hotel. 

I let Niall drag me into the car and not a second later Liam, Harry and Louis joined us. Niall started laughing at something Harry said to him and i could’t help but stare at him when i noticed Liam and Louis looking me curiously i laughed nervously and started talking to them hoping to distract them from what they just saw. 

“I will never get over that initial thrill of performing!” I said to Liam who quickly agreed with me. I was listening to Louis who was telling us about a fan he saw in the crowd when Niall grabbed my hand and interlocked our fingers. I glanced quickly at Niall who was looking at Louis and looking totally engrossed in to story. I noticed off late Niall was a little bit more touchy feely with me.. Could that mean something? 

I shook my head. What the hell am i thinking. He’s my best friend. He could never like me that way, not in a million years. ‘We’re just friends.’ I repeated in my head over and over again. 

”..and then i swear she elbowed the other fan in the face!” Louis exclaimed, everyone started laughing so i joined in even though i only ended up hearing the end of the story. 

When the car finally pulled up outside the hotel i was exhausted to say the least. We all got of the car one by one as Paul and our other body guards quickly surrounded us trying to protect us from the bright flashes of the cameras. I winced as a camera got shoved in my face and the flash went off. Niall grabbed my arm as if he was scared to lose me and i realised the crowd must be getting to him so i wrapped my arm around his shoulder comfortingly and quickly guided him into the hotel. 

Niall let out a deep breath that he had been holding. “Thanks mate” he said gratefully 

I smiled at him and ruffled his soft blonde hair. “Anytime Nialler” I said cheekily.

“Zayn!” Niall complained as he ran his hand through his hair.

I opened my mouth to make a quick comeback but instead i let out a loud yawn. 

By now we were all in the elevator on our way up to our floor. Liam, Harry and Louis were all sharing one room and Niall and I were sharing another room. 

*DING*

We got off the elevator and i gave Louis, Harry and Liam a hug and said goodnight and Niall followed my actions and we all retreated into our rooms.

Niall was pretty quiet and looked deep in thought as i flicked on the lights in our room and made my way towards the closest to grab my boxers. 

“Zayn, I’m gonna use the bathroom first okay?” Niall asked

“Sure sure” i said as i grabbed my boxers. I turned around to see if Niall was still there but he had already gone into the bathroom so i quickly stripped and put my boxers on and sat on the edge of the bed waiting for Niall to be done. 

I started humming quietly to myself and glanced at the clock to see 5 minutes have gone by. I frowned and decided to check on Niall, as i made my way to the bathroom i noticed the door was slightly cracked open and i paused when i heard Niall mumbling. I turned my head and outstretched my ear closed to the door hoping to hear better but i still couldn’t make out any words so i just gave up and called out “Niall?”

I heard something crash to the floor and i walked quickly to the bathroom and pushed the door open slightly to see Niall picking up a deodorant of the floor.

“uh sorry you have me a start and i ended up knocking this over” He said sheepishly 

“Oh sorry i was just wondering if you were done yet?” I asked

Niall seemed to turn a bit red and mumbled that he was done and quickly rushed out of the bathroom. I let out a sigh as i watched him leave. Could things get anymore confusing?

I quickly brushed my teeth and washed my face and made my way back into the bedroom. Niall was lying down in his bed on his phone and his eyes flickered up to meet mine before going back to his phone.

I let out a quiet chuckle as i took in the sight infront of me. I was barely gone for 5 minutes and in the time Niall had managed to get a load of food on his bed. 

“Help yourself” Niall said gesturing towards heap of food on his bed, so i grabbed some chips and a couple of oreos and got into my own bed. 

“Hey Zayn?” Niall asked somewhat nervously

“Yeah?” I said looking at Nialler

“Thanks for helping me get through the crowd before, i thought i was gonna have a panic attack…” He said

“Niall you don’t have to thank me! Seriously i’ll always have your back no matter what. I’ll protect you always, i can’t stand to see you hurt it kills me.” i blurted out. 

Niall looked at me surprised and i bit my lip wondering if i had said too much. 

“You know you’re the best?” Niall stated casually

“I am.” I said smirking at him

A pillow came flying at my face which i caught easily with one hand. 

“Don’t be cocky” Niall grumbled

I laughed at how adorable he looked. A friend could think another friend looked adorable right? 

I lay down and closed my eyes as Niall turned off the lights and also laid down. 

It was quiet for a few moments before I heard a slight rustling of Niall’s sheets. “Night Zayn.” He said

I smiled to myself, glad that the lights were off so Niall wouldn’t see the silly smile on my face. “Goodnight Niall”

A few minutes of silence went by and i could feel myself drifting off the sleep. “Love you Ni” I said my voice laced with sleep.

“Love you too Z” Niall said sleepily and i fell asleep, two metres away from the blue eyed beauty that i couldn’t go a day without talking too. 

Zayn Malik Fanfiction!

chap 1

http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/15502767442/one-direction-fanfic-around-in-circles 

chap 2

http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/15562549498/one-direction-fanfic-around-in-circles-chapter-2 

chap 3

http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/15614851808/one-direction-fanfic-around-in-circles 

chap 4

http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/15718936407/one-direction-fanfic-around-in-circles 

chap 5 http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/15877701774/one-direction-fanfic-around-in-circles-chapter-5

chap 6 http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/16002525647/one-direction-fanfic-around-in-circles-chapter

chap 7 http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/16110149142/one-direction-fanfic-around-in-circles-chapter-7

chap 8 http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/16220401390/one-direction-fanfic-around-in-circles-chapter-8

chap 9

http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/16343776153/one-direction-fanfic-around-in-circles-chapter

chap 10

http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/16459702841/one-direction-fanfic-around-in-circles-chapter-10

chap 11

http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/16628044242/one-direction-fanfic-around-in-circles-chapter-11

chap 12

http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/16856541907/one-direction-fanfic-around-in-circles-chapter

chap 13

http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/17084786387/one-direction-fanfic-around-in-circles-chapter-13

chap 14

http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/17313153255/one-direction-fanfic-around-in-circles-chapter-14

chap 15:

http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/17706242453/one-direction-fanfic-around-in-circles-chapter-15

chap 16

http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/18242278205/one-direction-fanfic-around-in-circles-chapter-16

chap 17

http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/19111411398/one-direction-fanfic-around-in-circles-chapter-17

chap 18

http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/19671119921/around-in-circles-chapter-18-biancas-pov-we

chap 19

http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/20583366798/one-direction-fanfic-around-in-circles-chapter-19

Chap 20

http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/21841978829/one-direction-fanfic-around-in-circles-chapter-20

chap 21:

http://onedirectionfordirectioners.tumblr.com/post/22962402673/one-direction-fanfic-around-in-circles

Chapter 22 will be up on Thursday :))

Hey guys, letting you know i will be posting Chapter 22 of my fanfic! :) To all those who are still reading thanks for sticking with the story during my writers block and problematic life. Love you guys xo

One Direction Fanfic: Around in Circles

One Direction Fanfic: Around in Circles

Chapter 21:

Bianca’s POV:

I woke up with a pounding headache and groaned into my pillow. I felt like complete and utter crap and last night’s events did nothing to make me feel better. I groaned again and buried myself under the soft fluffy covers.

“If you groan any louder I’m going to get complaints from the neighbours” A voice chuckled from above me.

I nearly jumped out of my skin and rolled over quickly to see Niall standing beside the bed with a tray in his hands. I growled lowly at him as I put a hand over my racing heart.

“Are you trying to give me a heartache?!” I shrieked

Niall snorted and said “I’m sorry you’re so unobservant that you didn’t hear my LOUD footsteps.”

“Hey I’m plenty observant thank you very much!” I stated.

Niall gave me a ‘get real’ look which I chose to ignore.

I pulled myself up and rested my back against the headboard and Niall handed me the tray he was handing.

“Niall…” I trailed of softly when I saw what he had done.

There in front of me on the tray was a plate full of Chocolate chip pancakes and you could see the chocolate chips sort of formed a smiley face, with strawberries and chocolate sauce on top.

I felt my eyes tear up and Niall looked at me panicky, “Shit sorry Bianca I didn’t mean to make you cry” He said trying to take the tray away from me but I held onto it tightly and shook my head.

My throat had tightened and I was swallowing loudly trying to speak but my voice came out as a whisper as I said “Thank you”

Niall relaxed and I saw him grin at me, “You like it?” He asked.

I shook my head and his face fell before I could whisper “I love it”

Niall grinned hugely and sat down next to me on the bed while I ate quickly, I was starving since I hadn’t eaten properly in days. I saw Niall frowning at me from the corner of my eye but I didn’t look up as I was busy stuffing my face. Normally I wouldn’t let myself eat like that but since I hadn’t eaten properly in days I allowed myself this small treat.

“Bianca you look like you haven’t eaten in days” Niall said jokingly but I could hear the underlining tone in his words.

I shrugged innocently while Niall glared at me.

“Seriously Bianca?” Niall demanded to know.

I ignored him and rubbed my now full tummy. “That was great Niall!” I said enthusiastically.

“I’m glad you like it but don’t think I’m going to forget about this” He said referring to me not eating for days.

I rolled my eyes but nodded at him flashing him a smile.

He smiled back sincerely and jumped out of bed and said “Let’s go!”

“Where?” I asked looking at him confused.

“Just out” He said vaguely.

This time I frowned at him suspiciously but he raised his hands in surrender, “I haven’t seen you in ages and there’s not much to do here” He said

I felt guilty when he said that and I know he could see it on my face.

“Bianca I didn’t mean to make you feel guilty” he said quickly.

I waved him off and got out of bed and stretched my stiff limbs.

“I’ll just hop in the shower then we’ll leave?” I asked him

He quickly nodded and said excitedly “I’m going to be in the lounge then; I want to see how Manchester did last night!”

I chuckled at his excitement and said “Okay off you go” like I was dismissing a little kid.

He practically ran to the room and not a second later I heard the TV being turned on. I chuckled at how quick he was while I grabbed some spare clothes I had left over here.

I had a long hot shower and changed into some light blue jeans and a black singlet. I looked out the window in Niall’s room and saw the weather was taking a turn for the worse so I went to his closet and looked for a jumper to borrow.

I found a comfy looking grey hoodie which I put on and looked in the mirror. The hoodie was a bit a big for me but it looked fine and it smelt so good, so I put my chucks on and brushed my hair and left it out to dry naturally.

When I stepped into the lounge Niall was cursing under his breath at the TV and I let out a small laugh seeing his expression, he always got so worked up about sports it was adorable! Niall glared at me playfully while I tried not to burst into a fit of giggles.

“So I take it they’re not doing too well?” I asked innocently

Niall groaned and switched the TV off and said “Their playing like utter rubbish at the moment!”

I chuckled at how frustrated he sounded and followed him out of the apartment and down to his car while he continued to talk about soccer.

I must have been daydreaming because before I knew it we were in the car cruising on the highway.

I turned to face Niall who was humming a Justin Bieber song and asked him “So where are we going?”

“You’ll see” he replied.

I sighed but didn’t argue. Instead I let my thoughts drift to Zayn and felt my heart pang at the thought of him.

I miss him I thought miserably. I just want everything to go back to normal.

When Niall turned into an all too familiar street I turned to glare at him.

“Why are we going down this street Niall?!” I demanded.

“I don’t know what you mean” Niall said.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Zayns apartment is on this street” I said.

“Is it?” Niall asked innocently.

I reached over and smacked his arm. Hard.

“Ow! Bianca don’t hit the driver!” Niall yelled.

“Well if the driver has suddenly gone insane I think it’s allowed! What are you up to?!” I yelled back.

“You and Zayn need to talk this out okay. Both of you are miserable and just need to sit down and talk about everything.” Niall said seriously.

I felt my heart start to beat faster and my palms automatically started to get sweaty as my eyes widened in panic. “Niall I can’t” I whispered.

Niall glanced at me as he parked the car. “Bee you can do this. It’s Zayn, not some stranger”

I shook my head before he even finished speaking “I can’t Niall! He hates me and I don’t think I can handle him saying that to me” I said my voice wavering.

Niall looked at me incredulously, “Bianca you’re the insane one! That boy doesn’t hate you; in fact it’s the opposite! He loves you”

“How do you know that Niall? Huh? Please tell me?” I argued.

“Because whenever he talks about you he has the biggest smile on his face! Whenever he hears your name his head whips around so fast as if someone said his own name! When he’s with you he’s constantly glancing at you as if he can’t take his eyes off you! When we’re away on tour he’ll scroll through pictures of you! You don’t notice or know these things but I do and I know for a fact that he loves you!” Niall ranted.

I stared at him open mouthed in shock. “I don’t believe you” I told him in disbelief.

“Well whether you do or don’t all I know is that you need to talk to Zayn” Niall said.

He got out of the car and opened my door as I started to protest but he covered my mouth with his hand.

“Bianca if you don’t walk up to Zayns apartment I will physically carry you up there so don’t test me” He said seriously.

I looked at him to see if he was serious and saw his unwavering gaze and decided I’d rather walk then be carried.

I huffed loudly but got out of the car and slammed the door shut.

Niall winced and looked at me in horror and said “What did my baby ever do to you?!”

I tried to stifle the giggle that threatened to escape my lips but failed.

As we walked up to Zayns apartment side by side I kept wiping my palms on my jeans and biting my lip nervously. When we neared Zayns apartment I felt my knees lock into place and saw Niall jerk back into place as he had linked his arm through mine.

“Niall I’m not ready for this. I don’t even know what to say” I whispered

You will be fine” Niall said stressing out each word as he dragged me to Zayns door and knocked before I could convince him this was a bad idea.

I decided to try one last time “Are you sure this is a good idea?” I whispered quickly.

Niall opened his mouth to respond but the door opened and there was Zayn. I felt myself stiffen as I looked him over. His hair was all over the place, he had dark circles under his eyes and he had a bit of stubble going on. My eyes trailed down to see his bare chest before I quickly snapped my eyes back to his as I felt my ears turn red in embarrassment.

Oh god he’s shirtless I thought to myself.

Suddenly Niall shoved me and I stumbled into Zayn who shot out his arms to catch me and in the process pulled me into his chest.

I turned around to glare at Niall trying to ignore Zayns gaze on my face as I felt my embarrassment double.

“Go talk and don’t even come out till all this is sorted.” Niall said finally and walked off leaving me staring at him open mouthed yet again.

Zayn cleared his throat and I turned to face him and realised how close we were and went to step back but his arms stopped me.

Zayn quickly realised and let me go but not before I saw the hurt look on his face as I stepped away from him. Crap now I feel bad.

“So uh do you wanna come in so uh we can talk?” Zayn asked scratching the back of his head nervously.

I bit my lip hesitantly and rocked back on my heels as I debated on what to do.

“Please?” Zayn pleaded, I glanced at his face and saw he was doing those adorable puppy eyes that I could never say no to. I mentally groaned but nodded silently to Zayn.

Zayn relaxed and stepped back so I could enter. I walked in and went straight to the couch and hugged one of the cushions to my chest as I watched Zayn sit down next to me.

It was silent for a while, neither of us saying anything, just looking at each other.

Finally I couldn’t take it anymore and broke the silence.

“You look tired” I said to him.

“I could say the same to you, when’s the last time you had a good night’s sleep?” He asked concern written all over his face.

I shrugged and saw him frown at me before a determined look overtook.

He took a deep breath and said “Bianca I need to get this off my chest and I have a lot to say so please don’t interrupt okay?”

I nodded and clutched the cushion tightly feeling slightly scared about what he was about to say.

He ran a hand through his already messy hair and I was suddenly itching to run my fingers through his hair.

I shook my head to get rid of those thoughts and tried to focus on what he was about to say instead.

“First I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I overreacted about the Nate thing. I was jealous and I was stupid, I just felt like if anyone had a good chance and stealing you away from me it would be him because whenever I’m away from home you guys spend so much time together and I get that he’s your best friend but I thought he liked you but obviously now I know different but anyway I was a jerk about the whole Nate thing, I let jealousy get the best of me and I’m so sorry! All I know now is that I want you back; I want to be able to call you my girlfriend again because I miss you so much and I love you. I love you more than anything in this world, when I’m with you I just feel at home. Like your my home, god I don’t know how to explain this well without sounding like an idiot but you’re always in my thoughts, even at the back of my mind when I’m out performing your always there.”

He grabbed my hand at put it over his heart which I could feel beating incredibly fast under my hand. I tried to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat.

“You can feel how fast it’s beating? It only ever beats like that around you.” Zayn said sincerely staring into my eyes.

I felt my breathing get shallow as I looked back at him. His eyes were pleading with mine and my whole brain was screaming at me to kiss him.

“What about that girl?” I blurted out. My heart aching at the thought of Zayn with her.

“What girl?” Zayn asked looking genuinely confused

“At the club” I replied shortly.

“She was just a family friend who kept pushing herself on me. I swear I was pushing her away and I was about to leave when I saw you and I froze and I didn’t even realise what she was doing” he said honestly.

He was still holding my hand and rubbing soothing circles on my palm with his thumb.

I looked down at my lap and bit my lip as I thought about everything he had said. I felt tears run down my cheeks and tilted my head so my hair fell in front of my face.

“Bianca” Zayn said softly pushing my hair behind my ear and lifting up my chin to meet his gaze.

His grip on my hand tightened when he saw I was crying. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, I promise to protect you, even from myself if it comes to it” He said.

I couldn’t take it anymore. Every part of me was screaming to be near him so I threw my arms around his neck and buried my face into his neck.

I felt Zayn wrap his arms around my waist as he lifted me up on his lap so I was straddling him as he buried his face in my hair.

“I love you” I whispered.

He tightened his grip on me but drew back and I felt a whimper escape my lips. I needed to be close to him now so I tightened my grip on his neck preventing him from pulling back further.

I felt Zayn unwrap his arms from around my waist and reach behind his neck to my hands and pulled them apart so he could pull back to look at my face. He leant in and kissed down my cheek, then he went to the other cheek and let his lips trail down to my jaw and I felt myself shiver involuntarily as I realised he was kissing my tears away. He pulled back and licked his lips before leaning in.

He brought his lips inches away from mine and by now both of us were breathing heavily. “I love you” He whispered his breath washing over me as I trembled with desire.

Then he leant in and his lips finally made contact with mine. I moaned as I wrapped an arm around his neck and with my other hand gripped a fist full of his hair and tugged him even closer to me.

He groaned and bit my lip, crushing my body to his in the process. His hands were everywhere, running down my sides and up my thighs as he trailed his fingers across the skin on my hips igniting my body with heat trails wherever his fingers made contact. I couldn’t get enough of him; it had been too long since I had kissed him. We kissed like this for what felt like hours, furiously running our hands over each other’s bodies while we kissed each other passionately. I knew I was going to faint if I didn’t take a breath soon and I think Zayn felt the same because he reluctantly pulled his lips away from mine and rested his forehead against mine as he looked into my eyes.

“I love you” He whispered.

“I love you too” I whispered back. He smiled widely and leant in pressing his lips firmly against mine. This time the kiss was sweet and just as long.

“I’ll never get tired of hearing you say that.” He said softly.

I smiled back at him, feeling pure blissful happiness.

Zayn suddenly stood up and I squeaked and tightened my grip on him as he put his hands under my bum to support me. I playfully glared at him as he smirked at me “Sorry I’ll warn you next time.” He said

“What makes you think there’s going to be a next time?” I asked playfully raising my eyebrows.

Zayn laughed and I felt a small smile appear on my face as I heard my most favourite sound in the world. His laugh.

Zayn noticed the look on my face and kissed my forehead as he carried me to his room and lowered me on the bed.

“I think we both need to catch up on sleep” He said chucking me boxers and a shirt. I nodded eagerly, I loved cuddling with Zayn, some of the best ever sleeps I’ve had have always happened when I’ve fallen asleep in his arms. I quickly stripped and put on his shirt which came about mid-thigh so I chucked his boxers back at him and hopped into bed.

He groaned as he looked at me lustfully “Really Bee?”

I shrugged innocently trying to keep the smirk of my face.

Zayn dropped his tracks and hopped into bed in only boxers, as he got under the covers with me he wrapped both his arms around me and hooked his leg around mine.

He kissed my forehead, then my eyelids and then my nose and my cheeks, saving my lips for last.

I could feel his stubble rub gently across my neck as he sucked on a sensitive spot on my neck giving me a hickey in the process.

He pulled back breathless and said “we really should sleep now”

I made an incoherent sound as I kissed along his jaw and then let my lips trail down his neck to kiss collarbone. I felt his grip on my waist tighten as my lips brushed over a sensitive spot on his collarbone and latched my lips onto the skin there and gave him a hickey. He let out a low groan and when I was satisfied with the hickey I gave him I pulled back and rested my head on his chest and sighed happily.

“Now we can go to sleep” I replied cheekily.

Zayn let out a chuckle and gave me a quick peck as he ran his hand through my hair and started humming a tune I didn’t realise.

Soon I was drifting off to sleep so I snuggled into Zayn and let the darkness take over but not before feeling Zayns lips press against mine once more.

One Direction Fanfic: Around in Circles, Chapter 20

One Direction Fanfic: Around in Circles

Chapter 20:

Bianca’s POV:

It had been a couple of days since the incident at Niall’s apartment and I was currently moping in my room. I could hear hushed voices outside my door and rolled my eyes. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and cringed. I looked like a right mess.

A sigh escaped my lips and I jumped when my room door suddenly burst open. Danielle came storming in and crossed her arms. My mouth hung open in surprise while she looked at me expectantly.

“We’re going out, so go shower and I’m going to help you get ready” She demanded

“But-“ I started to say before she cut me off with a glare.

Danielle could be scary when she wanted to so I obediently headed to the bathroom and showered.

When I came out wrapped in a towel Danielle had set some clothes on the bed which I robotically put on.

It wasn’t till she pushed me into a chair and started doing my hair that I realised I had no idea where we going.

“Danielle where are we going?” I asked quietly.

“We’re going out clubbing with the boys” She said

My breath caught in my throat and my eyes widened with horror. She was going to make me go clubbing while Zayn was there? I would burst into tears the second I saw him!

Confusion flittered across Danielle’s face before she realised what I was thinking. “Zayns not going to be there babe, he’s moping around at home so Liam and Harry are keeping him company while Niall and Louis come clubbing with us”

“He’s moping?” I asked confused.

Danielle sighed and muttered to herself “So damn dense.”

“What?” I said defensively feeling even more confused.

“He’s moping about you silly! He misses you!” She exclaimed.

“Yeah well he’s the one who’s ignoring me.” I muttered to myself.

When Danielle was done curling my hair and doing my makeup she turned me around so I could see myself in the mirror.

A small gasp escaped my lips as I took in my appearance. My dark brown hair was curled to perfection and cascaded down my back; my brown eyes seemed to pop with the eyeliner and mascara Danielle had put on and my lips looked pouty and pink. I almost didn’t recognise myself.

No one will think wow that girl’s been moping in her room crying for three days I thought to myself wryly.

“Do you not like what I did?” Danielle asked nervously and I realised I hadn’t said anything yet.

I spun around and threw my arms around her tightly. “Thank you thank you thank you!” I said grinning.

Danielle laughed and hugged me back tightly.

I was going to have fun tonight; I deserved a night of fun after everything.

I heard my room door open and pulled back to see Nate standing there rather awkwardly.

“Nate” I said surprised.

I saw Danielle look between us, eyebrows furrowed.

“Um, I was wondering if I could talk to you alone for a sec…” He stammered.

Danielle looked at me and raised her eyebrows. I nodded slightly and she sent me a small smile.

“I’ll be waiting downstairs” She said as she walked out of my room, subtly shutting the door behind her.

I looked at Nate expectantly but he didn’t say anything and as the silence dragged on my nerves were escalating.

“Nate I’m really nervous now what’s up?” I finally asked him.

Nate sighed and ran a hand threw his messy hair. He made his way over to my bed and sat down on the edge and patted the spot next to him.

I rolled my eyes but complied.

I bit my lip as I waited for him to say something, anything.

“Okay I don’t know where to start but first I’m sorry about getting in the way of you and Zayn, but more importantly for that night when you were in the accident. I shouldn’t have forced myself on you and I only did it because I was… conflicted about things and I handled it the wrong way and I love you like a sister, I always have but…” He trailed off.

I stared at him speechless but squeezed his hand, encouraging him to go on.

He looked at me nervously and said quietly “You know how my relationship is with my dad, it’s pretty strained and he already hates me so when I realised…. Something about myself I knew it would just anger my dad even more so I guess what I’m trying to tell you is that… I’m… well… you see…” Nate let out a frustrated grunt and pulled at his hair.

“It’s okay you know you can tell me anything” I said softly.

“I’ve just never really said it aloud but here goes nothing” he said muttering.

“I’m gay.” He quickly said.

My eyes widened and my mouth fell open. I snapped my mouth shut when I realised how I must have looked and opened my mouth but I was at a loss of words.

Nate was nervously clicking his fingers and I finally snapped out of it.

“Well I’m glad you told me and about your dad, he doesn’t know what he’s missing out on.”

Nate looked relieved. “Thanks, for not making this a big deal. I haven’t quite come to terms with it.” He said fidgeting slightly. 

I hugged him tightly and said “I’ll be with you every step of the way so it’s fine just take it as it comes”

When I pulled away Nate sent me a heart-warming smile and said “I don’t know what I’d do without you”

I smiled back at him and he said “So you’re looking quite sexy where you off too?”

I chuckled at him before responding, “Danielle’s taking me clubbing with Louis and Niall.”

“Sounds fun…” He said trailing off. He looked conflicted so I nudged him lightly and his eyes snapped up to meet mine.

“What’s on your mind?” I asked him.

“Well do you think I could come? I mean Zayns not going to be there and I could really use a distraction tonight…” He said slowly.

“Of course!” I said grinning at him! I grabbed his head and started dragging him downstairs where Danielle was talking to mum. I let go off his hand when we entered the lounge.

“Danielle is it cool if Nate comes clubbing with us?” I asked. Nate looked embarrassed for some reason, silly boy.

Danielle looked surprise but quickly nodded. “Sure you guys ready to go? Lou and Niall will meet us there” She said.

“Yeah as ready as I’ll ever be” I said.

“Alright let’s go” Danielle said grabbing her purse and keys.

“Bye mom!” I yelled as we left the house and I heard her yell “Be Safe!”

Danielle got into the driver’s seat; I got into the passenger’s side while Nate got into the back.

We drove there with the radio, all of us lost in our own thoughts.

Before I knew it we were outside the club, I shook my head trying to get myself out of the daze I was in.

Nate nudged me and I looked at him quickly, he was frowning down at me.

“What?” I asked innocently

“You were completely out of it then, does that happen a lot?” He asked concern written all over his face.

I forced on a smile and said “No don’t worry I’m fine”

He didn’t look convinced but before he could question me further Danielle returned from talking to the bouncer outside the club.

“Alright let’s go in” She said smiling.

We walked past the line of people and slipped inside. I looked around and it seemed like there were hundreds of sweaty bodies grinding against each other on the dance floor.

The music was so loud I could feel the floor vibrating. I spotted Niall and Louis sitting at the bar with a drink in their hands.

“Lou and Niall are over there!” I said shouting over the music; Danielle looked at where I was pointing and grabbed my hand and started making our way over there with Nate following closely.

When we got up to the boys they looked relieved to see me and quickly hugged the life out of me.

“Guys seriously I’m fine” I huffed.

They pulled back and Louis said “Well we missed seeing your face okay”

I chuckled but stopped short when I saw Louis face drop before he gently pushed me aside and went up to Nate.

“What are you doing here?!” He said standing in front of Nate with his arms crossed.

I quickly squeezed myself between them and put my hands on Louis chest as I pushed him back a few steps.

“Louis leave it. I’ve forgiven him, he explained himself and everything’s okay between us.” I said

Louis opened his mouth to protest but I covered it quickly with my hand.

“Trust me please?” I pleaded.

Louis removed my hand from his mouth and sighed, “I’m not happy about this but if you’re sure…” He trailed off looking at me for confirmation.

I nodded quickly and he stared at me for a few more seconds to make sure I was serious. He finally looked back at Nate and said “If you hurt her in the slightest way I will not hesitate to punch you, no matter what she says, got it?” He asked firmly.

I’m sure I looked mortified by now but Nate didn’t seem surprised by any of it. “I wouldn’t expect anything less” He said.

Louis nodded and then muttered “I need another drink”

I giggled at his expression and looked at Niall who was quiet during the whole thing.

He was frowning slightly and had a concentrated look on his face before he spoke.  “Danielle you should take Bianca to dance.” He said not looking at either of us.

I frowned as Danielle grabbed my hand and started pulling me away but I pulled my arm out of her grip and put my hand on Niall’s shoulder turning him around.

“Niall what was that?” I demanded.

He smiled at me and said “I just want to talk to Nate, go dance with Danni okay?”

I frowned at him and looked at Nate who nodded for me to go dance.

I rolled my eyes; the boys were being ridiculous but fine if they wanted me to go I would go. I nodded at Nate and turned around and walked back to Danielle who was waiting patiently.

When we got to the dance floor I peaked at where Niall and Nate were standing but they were no longer there.

I sighed but let it go and started dancing with Danielle.

It wasn’t long before I was laughing and smiling just like I used to.

“I’m glad you forced me to come out I needed this” I said smiling widely

“No problem!” Danielle said flashing me a grin.

We danced for a while longer before Nate, Niall and Louis joined us. We were dancing for god knows how long but I just lost track of time and it was the best feeling in the world. I just moved my body to the music and focused on that. Temporarily forgetting everything that had happened in the past week.

I was happily dancing and laughing when I saw Danielle freeze. I looked at her concernedly when the same thing happened to Niall and Louis.

“Guys?” I asked.

Their gazes snapped to mine looking panicked and worried. I looked at Nate confused to see if he knew what was going on but he was looking at something behind me, his face drained of colour.

I went to turn around but Nate grabbed my shoulder, preventing me from seeing what they had all seen.

“Let’s go Bianca I’m not feeling well anymore” He said hurriedly while the others nodded and said they were quite tired as well.

I frowned at them they were fine a second ago. Nate’s hand was still on my shoulder but I shrugged it off and turned around and froze.

My eyes widened and my heart pounded as I stared in shock because there was Zayn.

Except he wasn’t alone.

This girl was practically grinding on him and he did nothing to push her away.

I could feel someone tugging on my arm but I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the horrible sight in front of me.

I don’t know what happened but instead of crumpling onto the floor and sobbing like I wanted to I started making my way over to them.

With each step my anger grew and I could feel the others following me.

I was finally in front of Zayn and he looked up and looked surprised to see me but then his face went blank.

My hands were shaking and my breathing had turned shallow.

The girl who was dancing with Zayn stared at me oblivious to the tension and held out her hand to me and said in a chirpy voice “Hi I’m Tara!”

I didn’t make a move to grab her hand and she awkwardly dropped it.

“Zayn what the hell are you doing?” I asked fiercely

“I was dancing in case you didn’t notice and I can see you’re doing the same with Nate” He spat out.

“Nate’s my friend Zayn! I forgave him and I thought you would be able to trust my judgement on this!” I said yelling at him.

“You’re the one moving on so why can’t I?!” he yelled right back.

“I’m not moving on!” I shouted, running a hand through my head, feeling so frustrated at this whole situation.

“I’m not moving on” I said quietly. “I love you” I whispered.

Zayn froze and stared at me with widened eyes. Shit he heard me I thought cringing.

Suddenly Nate spoke the 2 words I never thought he would say.

“I’m gay.”

Zayn snapped his head up to look at Nate while I whirled around to stare at Nate open mouthed.

“Nate you don’t have to-“I started to say but Nate cut me off.

“I’m gay, that night when I kissed her it’s because I was trying to change how I felt, I was drunk and messed up and I love her like a sister and tried to force something that wasn’t there. I’m gay okay? Now you better fucking fix this because I swear if you break her heart again I will fucking hurt you.” Nate said firmly.

I just stared at him open mouthed unable to think of a coherent response.

Nate winked at me and then leant in and kissed me on the forehead, “I’m going to catch a cab home. Call me if he gives you any trouble” He said nodding at Zayn and with that he left.

Danielle was looking amused by the whole situation while Niall and Louis looked surprised.

“Bianca?” Zayn asked.

I looked at him and bit my lip.

“Well I can see your moving on fine so I’m going to go” I said and spun around and started walking away quickly.

Niall caught up with me easily and said “I’m not letting you stay alone tonight”

I nodded silently and heard Zayn shout after me but ignored him. As we were getting into a cab Zayn caught up with us panting slightly.

“Can we please talk?” He begged as it started to rain.

“Tomorrow Zayn not now” I said feeling tired all of a sudden.

“I’m trying to fix this and you-“Zayn started to say but I cut him off angrily.

“Now you’re trying to fix this?! You completely ignored me when I was trying to fix this so sorry if I don’t want to talk right now after seeing another girl grind on you!” I shouted.

Zayn opened his mouth but I cut him off with a deadly glare and said “You’re only trying to fix this because Nate told you he was gay. You need to apologise to him. You should have trusted me, a relationship won’t work without trust and maybe we should go back to being friends because this isn’t working” I said wearily even though my brain was protesting at the thought of just being friends with Zayn, my heart thumped painfully because it knew Zayn could never be just a friend and it scared me.

Zayn stared at me in shock and I could see the pain in his eyes. I looked away unable to look him in the eyes anymore.

“I’m sorry” I whispered and shut the taxi door shut. Niall hopped in and told the driver his address and I watched as we drove away from Zayn who was now standing in the pouring rain. I snorted at the total cliché.

Niall put his arm around me and made soothing noises as I cried into his shoulder.

“It’s going to be okay Bee; he’ll come to his sense and fix this I promise.” Niall said softly

I nodded and shut my eyes tightly in a futile attempt to stop the tears from streaming down my face.

“Niall?” I asked hoarsely.

“Yeah?” He replied.

“I really really love him” I said, feeling a sob building up.

“I know you do, and he loves you so much Bee. Trust me” Niall said softly.

“But he broke it” I said in between sobs.

“Broke what?” Niall asked worriedly.

“My heart” I whispered.

 

 

One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles Chapter 19:

                        One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles

Chapter 19:

Bianca’s POV:

“She’s sleeping Niall be a little more quiet!” Zayn whispered.

“Sorry!” I heard Niall whisper loudly.

I held back a chuckle as I slowly opened my eyes and looked around the room. The first person I saw was Zayn and he was sitting by my bed, holding my hand and stroking my fingers lightly with his thumb. I felt my heart beat faster as I looked over him. His hair was floppy and looked so soft my fingers twitched under his hand, itching to reach out and run my fingers through it. I lowered my eyes and met his sparkling hazel eyes. He was looking at me intensely and I felt myself heating up and couldn’t look away.

Niall coughed uncomfortably and I dragged my gaze away from Zayn to look at Niall who chuckled awkwardly “I’m going to the cafeteria to grab some food I’ll come back when you guys are done doing whatever it is you were doing” He said waving his hands about and darted out of the room before I could protest.

I sighed and jumped when I felt Zayn squeeze my hand. He shot me an apologetic look and said “Sorry didn’t mean to scare you”

“Its fine” I said smiling at him.

He got up and made me scoot over in bed and hopped in next to me. I snuggled into his side as he kissed the top of my head and let out a sigh.

“I’m so glad you’re okay. I was a nervous wreck when you were in surgery” He mumbled into my hair.

“I’m sorry” I said quietly.

“You have nothing to be sorry about” He responded instantly. “It’s Nate who needs to apologies”

“Zayn…” I sighed. I bit my lip as I thought about what I was about to say. “I talked to Nate last night after you left.”

I felt Zayn tense before he sat up pulling me with him.

I groaned but quickly shut up when I saw Zayns eyes blazing.

“You talked to that fuckwit?” He asked harshly.

I winced and slowly nodded looking at him cautiously.

Zayn clenched his jaw even tighter and I raised my hand to touch his cheek when Zayn flinched back and jumped out of bed.

I was shocked and hurt when he did that and saw a look of regret flash in his eyes before anger replaced it.

“Zayn please” I whispered.

He shook his head at me and I could feel my internal panic start to escalate.

“Why did you talk to him? He’s the reason you’re here!” He said pacing.

“Zayn-“I tried to speak but he cut me off again.

“He forced himself on you and you expect me to just forgive him? You still want to be his friend after he did that?” He asked me his voice getting louder and louder.

“He’s been going through a tough time okay you don’t know what he’s been through!” I argued.

“You’re fucking defending him now?! Your letting him get between us again!” Zayn yelled.

“He never got between us! What are you-“

“HE NEARLY TOOK YOU AWAY FROM ME! YOU’RE IN THIS HOSPITAL BECAUSE OF HIM AND I NEARLY LOST YOU!” He shouted at me as I shrank back from him. The anger that was radiating of him was scaring me a little.

The door burst open and Harry, Liam, Louis and Niall were all there looking worried.

“What’s going on?” Harry asked.

Zayn ignored him and glared at the floor before looking up at me, his eyes were cold and angry and I flinched involuntarily.

“Are you going to forgive Nate?” He asked calmly.

I looked at him torn. I loved him with everything I had but Nate needed me too.

“I guessing that’s a yes.” He said quietly looking at me.

I saw a flash of pain cover his face and my heart clenched at the thought of him being in pain.

My eyes were watering like crazy but no tears had fallen yet. “Zayn please just let me explain” I said hoarsely, my voice getting stuck in my throat.

Zayn clenched his hands into fists and started walking towards the door. The boys didn’t try to stop him and moved out of the way.

I couldn’t breathe. He was leaving me. My whole body was tense and I could hear my heart pounding and felt my whole world shatter.

“I love you” I said to his back as he walked through the door and saw him freeze mid-step.

It was silent before I heard him say “So what?” and he walked out.

I let out a whimper as the tears started flowing freely.

Nialls eyes snapped to mine and I turned away and brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms tightly around myself as I let out quiet sobs. I felt someone’s arms wrap around me and someone else rub my back soothingly while I just held myself tighter. Trying to hold myself together as my whole world was falling apart. My sobs were getting louder and I could faintly hear Louis freaking out, if I wasn’t crying so hard I probably would have chuckled at how freaked out he sounded.

When I slowly started to gain consciousness I could hear people talking.

“I think it was too much for her to handle so her brain just shut down” Liam whispered.

“God what the hell was Zayn thinking?” Harry asked.

“Guys let’s just give him time to clear his head and in the mean time not let Bianca out of our sights.” Niall said worriedly.

“Do you think she’ll cut again?” Louis asked whispering.

“I honestly don’t know what to think, I’ve never seen her that… broken before.” Niall said clearly frustrated.

“I’ll go find Zayn and just make sure he’s okay, he’s probably smoking” Liam said sighing.

I heard him leave the room and the boys kept whispering quietly, not wanting to hear anymore I opened my eyes and saw Louis, Harry and Niall sitting there watching me.

“Hi guys” I said quietly wincing as my voice cracked at the end.

They got up and made their way over and stood around me, Harry grabbed my hand and said “It’s okay Bee, it’s going be to be okay”.

My breathing turned shallow as I tried to control the panic attack I could feel coming on.

Louis looked at me worriedly, “Your mums here if you want to talk to her…” He said trailing off as I shook my head.

Niall started to speak but I cut him off “No I don’t want to talk to my mum, I just want to go home” I said quietly looking down at my lap.

“Don’t do this Bianca” Niall said sounding frustrated.

“Do what?” I asked him.

“Push us away” he said quietly, running a hand through his blonde hair.

I sighed and looked away. “I’m sorry” I muttered my eyes tearing up.

Niall instantly wrapped his arms around me and more tears leaked out as I buried my face in his shoulder.

“Please don’t do anything stupid” He whispered.

“I can’t make any promises.” I said honestly.

“That’s what scares me” He said so quietly I wasn’t sure if I was meant to hear.

He unwrapped his arms around from me and pulled back just as my mum entered the room.

She looked at me worriedly but didn’t say anything.

“Can I go home yet?” I asked suddenly breaking the tension in the room.

She nodded and said “The nurse will be here soon to discharge you”

I nodded numbly and just kept counting down the time till I could go home and cry myself to sleep.

Everyone kept staring at me and it was making me feel on edge. “Guys you can go there’s no point in staying here.”

Harry opened his mouth to protest but I cut him off and said “Please I just… Please just go guys” I said quietly, seeing their faces I looked away seeing their pain.

“If that’s what you really want…” Niall said quietly trailing off as I nodded quickly, not trusting my voice enough to speak.

The rest of the afternoon passed in a blur. The boys left and soon I was discharged and in the car with mum on the way home.

She kept glancing at me but I pretended not to notice and kept staring out the window. The silence in the car was suffocating.

“Bianca what happened?” Mum asked.

“Nothing” I replied.

Mum sighed and said “Bianca you can’t really expect me to believe that”

I chose not to respond and just stayed silent, twisting my hands in my lap just waiting to get home.

“Bianca” mum sighed

“I had a fight with Zayn okay” I snapped. I bit my lip instantly as a wave of guilt washed over me for snapping at mum. “Sorry I just don’t want to talk about it” I muttered.

I expected mum to be angry but she just squeezed my hand comfortingly making me feel even more guilty for snapping at her before.

When we pulled into our driveway I quickly got out of the car and told mum I was just going to my room to sleep. I didn’t give her chance to respond as I hurried upstairs to my room and shut the door and collapsed onto my bed finally letting the tears fall freely. My body felt like it was on fire so I stripped down till I was only a shirt. Zayns shirt. It still faintly smelt like him.

Not having to hold the tears back anymore they streamed down my face as I wrapped my blanket around me tightly as if it was the only thing holding me together.

I didn’t even bother wiping my face as I knew new tears would quickly replace the old ones, I felt a pang of loneliness in my chest. I hated myself; I should have never let myself get close to anyone. I hated depending on people. Everyone leaves in the end I told myself stupidly. Soon I was letting out quiet little sobs and shut my eyes tightly wishing with all my might for the pain to just disappear.

I just want to die.

That thought made my eyes snap open; I hadn’t had any suicidal thoughts in a long time.

Where are my blades I thought frantically. I got out of bed and pulled out my bed slightly just as my bedroom door opened. I heard a gasp and spun around to see Nate in the doorway looking at me in horror.

I must have looked like a real sight.

“Bianca” he breathed out walking in slowly.

I shook my head slowly and took a small step back.

Nate froze before saying “It’s okay I won’t tell. Your mum just left to take care of your nana and you dads at work”

I let myself relax slightly but when I heard Nate gasp my head snapped up to see him looking at the cuts on my leg that were now visible.

I tugged down Zayns shirt trying to cover them but it was too late.

“When did you do this?” Nate asked sounding shocked.

“At the hospital” I muttered

“Why?!” He asked

My whole body tensed as I thought about Noah.

I felt my legs crumple beneath me and Nate raced over to me and held me tightly as I cried.

“Bianca you’re scaring me! Please tell me what’s wrong?!” He pleaded

My whole body was shaking furiously as I tried to calm my racing heart.

“Noah” I whispered so quietly I was sure he wouldn’t hear me. But he did.

He frowned and looked at me confused, “Who’s Noah?”

I just shook my head and kept crying as he slowly rocked me.

When I felt my eyes dry up I slowly pulled away from Nate and stood up shakily and sat on the bed. Nate followed and held my hand as he rubbed small circles on my palm soothingly.

He waited patiently as I gulped loudly and tried to find my voice.

“Zayn got really angry at me today, for speaking with you.” I said quietly as Nate tensed beside me.

I continued quickly and said “He left and I don’t know what to do, it felt like my whole world was crumpling around me. I couldn’t even be around the other boys. It feels like someone was clawing at my heart. The pain won’t go away.”

“And last night I cut, all over my leg, it felt like the sadness was leaving my body. The emotional pain was getting too much and by cutting the physical pain was taking over. It helped distract me, it made me feel better. Each cut was taking the pain away and I wanted all the pain to disappear so I just kept cutting and cutting” I said sounding slightly hysterical at the end.

Nate was squeezing my hand so tightly I’m surprised my blood circulation hadn’t stopped.

I could feel the tears building up again so I shook my head lightly and stood up quickly. “I need to leave” I told Nate.

“What?!” Nate said sounding panicked.

I grabbed my keys and started walking downstairs when Nate grabbed my arm and pulled me to a stop.

“I’m coming with you” he said defiantly

I opened my mouth to protest but he cut me off by saying “Last time I let you walk away from me you ended up in the hospital, and it was my fault. So I’m coming with you whether you want me to or not.” He said demandingly

“Fine” I said grudgingly

We got into my car and I started driving.

“Where are we going?” Nate asked.

“Niall’s place” I said simply.

“Okay…” He said sounding confused.

“You know you’re still in just a shirt right?” he asked

I glanced down and realized he was right.

“I have a change of clothes in the back, can you reach over and grab the track pants for me please” I said.

“Sure” He said reaching around and grabbing them. It was a short drive as there was not much traffic at this time.
When we got to Niall’s apartment building I quickly pulled on the tracks before exiting the car with Nate.

He followed me as I walked into the building, when we were outside Niall’s door I knocked quickly before I could change my mind.

It opened quickly and Niall looked surprised to see us there.

I didn’t give him a chance to say anything before I launched myself into his arms and gave him a tight hug and murmured “Sorry”

He hugged me back just as tightly before letting go and dragging me and Nate inside.

Niall opened his mouth to speak before an abrupt knock interrupted him.

“I’m never going to get the chance to speak” He muttered to himself as he went to answer the door.

I let out a quiet chuckle and followed him.

When I saw who was at the door I froze and so did he.

“Zayn” I breathed out.

He didn’t say anything but he just looked me over with widened eyes and I cursed myself internally for not fixing myself up before leaving the house.

My heart was beating erratically at what was about to come.

“Zayn I think you should come inside mate” Niall said.

Zayn looked at him then back at me and walked inside.

When Zayn looked around he cursed under his breath and glared at something behind me. Or rather someone behind me.

I held my breath as I waited for the explosion.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” Zayn asked harshly

“I have every right to be here but you don’t” Nate retorted

I looked at Nate with wide eyes, what the hell was he playing at?!

“Nate!” I said warningly

“No Bianca he just left you, he shouldn’t have! Especially not after what you did the previous night…”

My eyes widened even further and I frantically shook my head but it was too late.

“What happened last night?!” Zayn asked with a hard edge.

Nate looked surprised then apologetically at me.

“Bianca?!” Zayn snapped.

I flinched and looked at him and saw his gaze soften for a second before a blank look overtook his face. It happened so quickly I swear I imagined it.

“She cut last night” Niall said

My mouth dropped open and I looked at him in shock.

“I saw this morning when Zayn went to get some coffee, it wasn’t my place to say anything” Niall said quietly.

Zayn looked furious but not at Niall more at Nate and I.

“You told him?!” he spat.

“I- Not intentionally he saw the cuts and-“

“You know what since you seem to tell Nate everything why doesn’t he be your boyfriend.” Zayn said abruptly.

“Wha-What?” I asked shakily.

“Since Nate’s so fucking close to you he can be your boyfriend.” Zayn said simply.

“Zayn don’t” Niall snapped.

“No Niall, I’m done” He said simply and walked out the door.

I quickly bolted after him shouting his name.

“Zayn! Zayn!” I yelled at his back but he never turned around.

I followed him to the parking lot trying to find the right words when he suddenly stopped and I nearly rammed into his back.

“I can’t believe you told him and not me” He said, the hurt was evident in his voice.

“Zayn don’t” I pleaded.

He looked at me and I felt my breath catch in my throat. He had tears running down his face but that’s not what made me freeze. It was the pain and hurt in his eyes that made my stomach drop.

He looked torn. He jumped into his car and speeded off leaving me there.

I still had my keys in my pocket so I got in my car, and heard Niall and Nate yelling my name. I ignored them and speeded off in the opposite direction from Zayn as I felt myself give up.

I can’t do this anymore I thought.

One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles Chapter 17:

One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles

Chapter 17:

Zayns POV:

Bianca’s breathing got deeper and I just watched her for a little while. When I thought about Nate my fists automatically clenched and I felt a wave of fury wash over me. I can’t believe he forced himself on Bianca. He was the reason she was crying. If it wasn’t for him Bianca would have been safe in bed, not driving to mine the same time that asshole drunk driver was. I tried to control my breathing and looked at Bianca again. She was okay I repeated to myself.

I slowly removed my arm from around her and eased out of bed. I kissed her on the cheek and left the room quietly. I looked around to make sure Nate wasn’t still hanging around and I saw Niall and Harry walking down the hall.

When they saw me they came rushing over.

Harry threw his arms around me in a tight hug before stepping back and asking me “Are you okay mate?” Before I could answer Harry shook his head and muttered “Stupid question of course you’re not, I’m sorry” He said apologizing.

I chuckled at Harry while both he and Niall stared at me like I was crazy.

“Bianca remembers everything now, she just fell asleep though” I said with a big smile on my face.

Niall looked relieved then let out a tiny whoop while Harry laughed and said “Thank god!”

I smiled widely at them and felt myself start to relax, but it didn’t last long because Harry asked “How did she remember again?”

I tensed again and clenched my jaw tightly.

“Nate came over and something just triggered all her memories.” I said tightly. It pissed me off that Nate was the one to trigger all of her memories.

“There’s more to it right?” Niall said slowly sensing my fury.

“The night of the accident he forced himself on her. He held her so tight it left bruises on her skin. If that dick hadn’t gone over to her house she wouldn’t have been in the accident! She left to get away from him because she was so upset” I said harshly.

Nialls eyes widened while Harry narrowed his eyes.

“That fucking bastard” Niall muttered when he got over the surprise.

“Did you hit him? Please tell me you did?” Harry asked.

I regretfully shook my head. “Bianca wanted me to stay and I couldn’t say no to her” I said sighing.

“Well I’m going to hit the bastard then” Harry said firmly.

Before I could respond we heard a scream come from Bianca’s room.

I jerked as if someone had shocked me. I pushed Bianca’s door open and ran inside looking around widely to see what was wrong. Harry and Niall followed closely behind.

Bianca sat up in bed, tears streaming down her face. I rushed to her side and cupped her face. Her breathing was erratic and her eyes wide with fear.

“Bee its okay everything’s okay” I cooed.

She gasped and flung her arms around my neck and held me in a tight choke hold. I wrapped my arms around her tightly and kept whispering in her ear “its okay, you’re okay.”

She sobbed into my neck and I felt my heart thud painfully. I wanted to take away the pain but I didn’t know how. She couldn’t even talk.

I rocked her slowly and said “Bee, match you’re breathing with mine.”

I took extra long and slow breaths and Bianca started copying it and soon enough she had calmed down.

“Sorry” Bianca muttered embarrassed.

“Don’t apologize, you have nothing to apologize for” I murmured.

Bianca looked down and wouldn’t meet my eyes so I tilted her chin up so she would have to look at me. I stared into her dark chocolate brown eyes, noticing her usual specks of hazel looked dull.

“I mean it Bee” I said softly.

“Thanks” She whispered, her breath washing over my face.

I leant in and pecked her lips softly. Just as I pulled away we heard a throat clear ad I looked up to see Niall and Harry standing there.

I had completely forgotten they were there for a second.

Bianca looked up at them and a smile overtook her tear stained face.

“Niall! Harry!” She said, holding her hands up demandingly.

They came over and gave her a hug and stepped back.

“What’s wrong Bee?” Niall asked

I watched Bianca’s reaction and saw the colour drain from her face.

“No-nothing.” She stammered.

We all stared at her and she looked at us all nervously.

“What?” She asked defensively

“Do you honestly think we are going to believe that bull crap?” Harry said

She bit her lip and said “It was just a dream don’t worry.”

“Bianca” I said sighing.

“Leave it guys” she said stubbornly

I groaned, she had to be the most stubborn person ever at the worst possible time!

“Fine” I snapped.

I saw a look of hurt flash in Bee’s eyes. She looked down at her hands wringing them nervously.

“I’m sorry Bee” I said sincerely.

She peaked at me from the corner of her eye and softly said “It’s okay.”

We were suddenly interrupted by a knock on the door.

A nurse popped her head in and said “I’m sorry but visiting hours are over.”

I sighed and hugged Bianca close to me. “See you tomorrow, I love you” I said quietly and bent down and kissed her on the forehead.

I started to straighten up again when Bianca wrapped an arm around my neck and pulled me down again and kissed me full on the lips.

“Now you can go” she said cheekily. “Love you too”

I felt the corner of my lips tugging up and went to lean down to kiss her again before Harry pushed me and said “Move!” jokingly

I glared at him while Bianca giggled. Harry gave her a hug and whispered something to her that made her laugh out loud.

Niall hugged her too and kissed the top of her head.

The nurse was waiting patiently at the door and ushered us out when we were done saying good bye.

I waved at her one last time and tried to relax my tense body. I didn’t like leaving her in the hospital but they wouldn’t let me stay with her.

I couldn’t wait till tomorrow. I desperately wanted to keep talking to her about what got her so worked up. I would get it out of her I thought determinedly.

Bianca’s POV:

When Zayn, Niall and Harry left I collapsed onto my pillows and tried to think about anything else other than the dream I had earlier.

My phone buzzed on my table next to my bed and I eagerly picked it up hoping for a distraction.

Well it definitely proved to be a good distraction. Nate was calling.

I hesitated, staring at the screen before telling myself to man up.

I picked it up and didn’t say anything at first, just listened.

“Bianca?” I heard Nate ask.

My throat involuntarily closed up and I couldn’t find it in me to say anything back.

“Bianca I hope you’re listening because I’m so sorry. Please please don’t leave me” He cried.

I felt my skin crawl when I heard Nate cry. I wanted to comfort him but after everything he had done? Zayn would be so upset I thought. But then again it’s not Zayns decision.

“Bianca I’m sorry I came to your house when I was drunk and high. I was upset about my dad and I didn’t know where else to go and I don’t know what came over me but I promise not to do it again.” Nate pleaded.

I listened to him silently but when I heard him cry again something inside me cracked.

“Nate, its okay” I said hoarsely.

I heard Nate suck in a deep breath. “What?” He asked.

“It’s okay” I repeated. “You were upset, you did something stupid. Just don’t let it happen again” I said chuckling weakly.

Nate let out a sigh. “Thanks Bambs. I promise it won’t happen again”

“Good” I said softly. “Is everything okay with your dad?” I asked

“It’s alright” he said gruffly “But more importantly, are you okay?”

“I’m fine Nate, honestly!” I said.

“Can I come visit tomorrow?” He asked hesitantly

“Um I’m being discharged tomorrow so you can come home, but maybe when Zayn isn’t there. He’ll still be angry” I said.

“With good reason” Nate said dejectedly.

“He’ll come around, he doesn’t know what you’re going through at home” I replied

“And he’s not going to find out right?” Nate said sternly

“I know I know I won’t tell him” I said sighing.

“Good” replied Nate sounding relieved.

I yawned and Nate chuckled. “I better let you get some sleep, don’t need anyone hating me more” he said.

I laughed quietly and said “No one hates you Nate”

Silence.

“Okay they strongly dislike you” I muttered.

Nate laughed and said “It fine Bambs, goodnight, sweet dreams!”

“Night Nate!” I sang. I disconnected the call and put my phone back on the table.

I looked the time, it was 10pm. I wasn’t sleepy and figured I could just walk around the hospital, try and tire myself out.

So I swung my legs over the bed and jumped out. I let out a little hiss as I felt some pain in my ribs and mentally scolded myself for jumping.  I opened the door and poked my head outside.

No one was around so I stepped out, my feet touching the chilly floor.

I started walking down the hall and was about to turn around the corner when I bumped into someone. I felt myself fall backwards and shut my eyes tightly waiting for the impact that never came because whoever they were wrapped their arms around me and pulled me flush against them.

My eyes snapped open and met a pair of dazzling green eyes.

“Bianca?” He whispered in shock.

My mouth dropped open in surprise.

“Lee?” I whispered.

One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles Chapter 16: One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles Chapter 16:

Hey guys, this is the longest I’ve taken to upload a new chapter and i’m sorry life is super hectic at the moment. If your still reading this story thank you! :) If you would like to read the other chapters just inbox me because the link on our page is not working at the moment and we’re trying to fix it. Would love feedback, good or bad give it to me ;) Enjoy lovelies! xx

One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles

Chapter 16:

Bianca’s POV:

I felt like I was floating, I wasn’t attached to my body. I couldn’t see anything, it was pitch black. I had no idea what was going on and that scared me a little. Suddenly it felt like I was being sucked back down into my body. I could feel again which wasn’t that great because I was beginning to feel the pain throughout my body.

I felt someone take a hold of my hand and then the softest pressure against my forehead I wasn’t sure if I had just imagined it. I tried to squeeze the hand back but everything was still pretty hazy and I wasn’t sure if I succeeded.

I heard a soft yelp and strained my ears for any more noises to give away where I was.

“She squeezed my hand!” Someone exclaimed! Something inside me stirred. I recognised that voice. I searched my brain but was coming up short. My body was feeling pretty sore so I stayed still and my eyelids felt heavy when I tried prying my eyes open but it was like they were glued shut.

I tried shifting again because I was feeling uncomfortable and I felt my hand move a little.

My body was responding slowly to what I was telling it to do so I gave up for a few minutes and tried focusing on the voices I could now hear which were getting louder and louder.

I heard someone say “Well he’s her boyfriend but we’re all friends”. I frowned when I heard that, who were they talking about? I tried to open my eyes again curious to see who the voices were coming from.

This time I could actually open my eyes but it was quite bright so my eyes fluttered for a bit while getting used to the sudden brightness.

I looked around the room in a daze and saw my mum and dad, Niall, Louis, Liam, Danielle, Harry and Zayn.

When my eyes spotted Zayn my heart started beating faster and my palms started getting sweaty. I felt complete and utter love for that boy before I quickly shook it off. Why was thinking like that about Zayn? I shrugged it off seeing as I wasn’t completely coherent.

I felt someone squeeze my hand and my head shot up to look at the person.

“Mum” I said croakily, my throat was all dry and scratchy so I just raised my arms up towards her.

Mum wrapped her arms around me and I started crying because I was so confused.

Mum kept making soothing sounds which calmed me down and when I felt like I wasn’t going to cry anymore I pulled away from mum and heard someone clear their throat.

I looked to find a doctor standing besides my bed smiling slightly before he said “Sorry I just need to check your vitals and ask you some questions to see how your memory is.”

I nodded and he checked my vitals while asking me some questions.

“What’s your full name?” He asked

“Bianca Danielle D’Souza” I responded.

“How old are you?”

“17”I said simply

“Date of Birth?” He asked

“27^th of June 1995?” I said

“Any idea what day it is?” He asked.

I tried to think what the last date I remember but my brain was still all foggy so I shook my head slowly.
The doctor frowned before asking “What’s the last thing you remember?”

I felt my forehead crinkle up as I tried to think about the last thing I remembered. Everything was a bit blurry in my mind but the clear thing I remember was Harry and Louis’ apartment warming apartment.

I hesitated for a second making sure I couldn’t remember anything else before answering “Harry and Louis party.”

“What did you say?” Someone said. Their voice cracked and I looked up and saw Zayn with a panicked look on his face. I wanted to jump out of bed and just hug him and never let go. I shook those thoughts out of my head quickly but continued to look at Zayn worriedly.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” Mum asked.

I looked at mum a little worried now, “I don’t have a boyfriend” I said slowly. Why would she ask now of all places. I swear she’s crazy sometimes.

I heard the door open and snapped my head up to see Zayn running out the door. My forehead crinkled up with worry and I feel the biggest urge to go after him but the needle in my hand was stopping me from running after him.

I saw Niall look at me worriedly before he said “I’m sorry Bee, I’ll be back soon”

I nodded slowly and he sent a small smile my way but it seemed forced. Under the fake smile I could tell he looked stressed and nervous and I had no idea why.  The tension in the room had increased greatly and everyone was avoiding my gaze.

“Why did Zayn leave?” I asked, wincing when my voice came out louder than it was supposed to be.

Everyone looked and me uncertainly like they weren’t sure what to say and I was about to pull my hair out from frustration when Liam answered me.

“It’s hard for him to see you like this Bee. He just needed a breather”.

I looked into Liam’s eyes and saw there was probably more to it but I decided to leave it for now.

“Oh okay.” I glanced down at my body and realized I had no idea why I was even in hospital.

“Why am I in hospital?” I asked them

This time mum answered me “You were in a car crash sweetie, you were taken into surgery and you had some internal bleeding, a lot of cuts and a bit of memory loss.” She said softly her voice wavering a little as she struggled to stay in control of her emotions.

The doctor cleared his throat again and my head snapped up to meet him because I had completely forgotten he was in the room.

“We need to keep you here overnight then tomorrow morning I can discharge you. Your memory will come back to you, by the end of tonight at the latest” He said confidently, “Otherwise I think it’s better if you stay here a little longer.” He said seriously.

I nodded again.

He left the room and mum said she was going to go see if she could get me some real food and that she would be back real soon. She and dad left together and Harry and Louis came and sat on my bed while Liam and Danielle sat on some chairs.

“Bianca don’t ever do that to us again!” Louis said seriously not taking his eyes of me.

“I won’t but I was just wondering what happened to the other driver?”

Harry snorted and said “In another hospital, he got transferred. Bloody drunk driver” he muttered.

I opened my mouth to respond to Harry when I heard the door open and my head snapped up quickly to find Niall walking in by himself.

I felt disappoint rush through me and tried to keep a smile on my face but it felt more like a grimace.

“You okay?” Niall asked noticing my face fall.

“Yeah I’m good” I said, it sounded fake but if the others noticed it they didn’t say anything.

I cleared my throat and asked Niall “Is Zayn coming back?”

“Soon” Niall said comfortingly.

Mum came in not a second later with Mc Donald’s which I eagerly ate. 

Harry and Louis laughed at my eagerness but I just flipped them the bird while mum gasped and said “Bianca!”

I shrugged and continued eating and this time Liam Niall and Danielle joined in the laughter.

 My mum kissed my head and said “Your dad’s pretty tired and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t so we’re going home to catch up on our sleep. Call us if you need anything” She said sternly.

I smiled softly and said “I will” while giving her a hug.

“I know they’ll take care of you while I’m gone but still remember if you need me-“

“I’ll call you” I finished off for her.

She chuckled before kissing me on the cheek and I waved to her as she left.

I chatted with the boys and Danielle for ages and didn’t realize that hours had passed. I convinced that I was fine and to go get food at the cafeteria. They reluctantly left and I closed my eyes. I was just drifting off to sleep when I heard the door creek open and my eyes snapped open in hopes to see Zayn but I was surprised when I saw Nate at the door looking at me with wide and guilty eyes.

A gasp escaped my lips as memories came back of Nate pushing himself on me and me crying and running.

“You” I whispered.

He bit his lip   “Bianca I’m so so so sorry please forgive me! When I heard what happened I felt so guilty and I was so upset and please forgive me I’m so sorry!” He blurted out in one breathe.

I barely took in what he said because my mind was preoccupied with all the memories that were suddenly flooding through. Zayn and I fighting over cutting. The date on the boat. Kissing Zayn. Zayn Zayn Zayn. Oh my gosh Zayn is my boyfriend.

I cursed myself when I realized that was why he ran out of the room.

“Bianca?” Nate asked.

My eyes narrowed and I harshly said “Get out.”

“Bianca don’t-“

“Get out!” I screamed

The door slammed opened and Zayn looked around the room. When he saw me he relaxed but when he saw Nate his jaw clenched and his hands balled up.

“What’s going on?” He asked stiffly.

“Please just get him out of here” I cried.

“Get out Nate” Zayn said flatly his face blank of any emotion.

“But-“Nate started

“GET OUT” He said angrily. His eyes were blazing and he was beyond furious. “You made her cry now get out before I beat the shit out of you!”

Nate looked at me one last time before whispering “I’m so sorry” and he ran out of the room.

Zayn quickly strode over to me and wrapped his arms around me while making soothing sounds.

“I’m sorry” I mumbled.

Zayn pulled back and looked at me confused. “Why? You don’t have to be sorry for anything” He reassured me.

“Sorry I forgot.” I whispered. I felt him stiffen and I continued on quickly “When Nate came in something triggered my memories and I remember everything now” I said softly

Zayn let out a breath before crashing his lips to mine while I stayed frozen from shock before responding quickly. Moving my lips with his I felt him run his tongue along the bottom of my lip asking for entrance. I decided to tease him first and not open my mouth but when he bit my lip softly I gasped and he took full advantage of that and plunged his tongue into my mouth. I moaned and we continued kissing for what seemed like hours but were probably only a few minutes. We pulled apart and I tried to steady my heart beat. Zayn was breathing hard but he hadn’t looked away from eyes.

“I missed you” he whispered.

“I missed you too” I whispered back, my eyes tearing up.

Zayn gave me a quick kiss again and said “Don’t cry its fine now. I can’t wait to tell the others you got your memory back” He said grinning widely.

I smiled back at him and saw his eyebrows furrowed as he suddenly had a thought.

“Bianca…” He said slowly. “You remember everything right? So when you called me you were upset. What happened?” He asked

I swallowed and opened my mouth but nothing came out.

He frowned at me and cupped my face and said “You can trust me”

“Well after the sleepover I went home to catch up on my sleep and thought I heard someone open the front door. I assumed it was mum or dad so I kept my eyes closed and heard someone enter my room and then uh… kiss me. I-“

“What?!” Zayn roared

I glared at him “Let me finish!” I said

He pressed his lips together tightly and nodded at me to continue.

I hesitated. He was already so angry and this was just going to make him explode.

“Go on” He said gruffly.

“Well… um…” I stammered. “I opened my eyes quickly and saw it was Nate so I yelled at him and told him to get out but he was drunk and he didn’t want to leave so I went to leave but he grabbed me and then I noticed he was high too. He kissed me against my will and I hit him and ran and that’s when I called you and the accident happened “I whispered.

The whole time I had been looking down scared to see Zayns reaction so when I finally looked up I flinched back from the fury in his eyes.

“He forced himself on you?” he asked his voice sounding strained.

“I’m going to kill that fucker” He said sharply.

“Zayn please just leave it” I pleaded.

Zayns jaw clenched and he said to me angrily “You want me to leave it?! After all he did? You were in fucking car accident because of him and you want me to leave it?!” He yelled

I whimpered and Zayns gaze softened before a hard look overcame his eyes.

“I’m going to go deal with him” He said simply. His hands were still clenched into fists and his whole body was tense.

“Don’t leave me” I pleaded.

He looked torn. I knew he wanted so badly to hurt Nate, “Please?” I begged.

He sighed and got into bed next to me and wrapped his arms around me tightly. His whole body was still so I kissed his shoulder and heard him suck in a deep breath.
“I love you” I said softly

His whole body relaxed as he kissed me softly on the lips.

“I love you more” He whispered and I fell asleep in his arms dreaming of only him.

 

 

When i meet One Direction:

Expectation:

Reality:

One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles Chapter 15:

One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles

Chapter 15:

Zayns POV:

My phone rang and I sat up quickly and answered it, “Hello?” I said croakily

I heard Christine say shakily “Zayn you need to come to the hospital now.”

I panicked and quickly said “I’m on my way” and hung up in a rush.

Niall had woken up when my phone rang and stared at me with wide eyes.

“We have to go, we need to get to the hospital” I said in a rush freaking out completely.

Niall jumped out of bed and put a hand on my shoulder “Zayn calm down! We’ll leave now but I’ll drive you can’t drive like this” He said sternly.

“Fine.” I agreed quickly, I just had a bad feeling and knew we had to get to the hospital.

Everything after that was real hazy but as soon as I set foot inside the hospital everything got real again. I sighed and walked quickly with Niall by my side.

We found everyone in the waiting room and my heart dropped as my hands automatically clenched into fists. I rushed over to Bianca’s parents who looked stressed out and Louis, Harry and Liam were all avoiding my gaze.

“What’s wrong? Where is she?” I yelled frantically.

“She collapsed this morning and she had to go back into surgery” Christine whispered, tears falling down her face quickly. Ricky put his arm around her and began soothing her as she sobbed into his shoulder.

I looked away and tried to take deep breaths except I couldn’t. My mouth went dry and my breath caught in my throat.

Niall looked scared and the others looked nervous. I paced up and down in front of them, waiting for Bianca to come out of surgery.

Louis looked at me wearily and Harry was rubbing his eyes furiously trying not to cry. Liam kept tapping his foot impatiently and looked at all of us probably wondering what he could do to calm us down.

Every time a doctor walked through those doors my whole body would freeze and my breath would catch in my throat.

When the doctor didn’t make their way over here to where Christine and Ricky were I would resume pacing nervously.

I heard the doors open and snapped my head up in time to see the doctor making his way over, his face was blank from any emotion.

“Fuck” I whispered nervously and stood rigid waiting for him to say she was okay so I could relax a little.

My heart was beating furiously and my palms were all sweaty. All the boys stood up along with Bianca’s parents.

“Mr and Mrs D’Souza would you like to go to my office to talk?” the doctor asked them.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I could not wait any longer just tell us dammit! I silently screamed.

Christine must have seen my face and quickly said “Here’s fine, is she okay now?”

The doctor hesitated and looked at all of us.

“I’m so sorry she didn’t make it, we tried everything. I’m so very truly sorry.” He said quietly.

It was quiet for a full two seconds while everyone just stood there staring at him not believing a word he said.

I jumped when I heard Christine sobbing loudly. My heart raced 10 times faster than I thought was possible. I looked and saw Christine on the floor sobbing and Ricky stood there frozen but tears were falling down his face. Niall was whispering “No no no no no no” over and over again to himself and Liam stood there looking shocked.

Harry started crying and Louis looked like he was about to pull his hair out. Everyone was crying and I just stood there. My body felt numb and then it was like someone punched me in the stomach. I gasped as the pain ran through me and it felt like someone was choking me. They were cutting of my air supply.

I couldn’t breathe.

This was real.

Bianca.

She can’t be. She’s supposed to be okay.

My knees wobbled and I collapsed on the floor and started sobbing. My fingernails were digging into my palm drawing blood from how tightly my fists were clenched. Huge sobs wrecked my body and I was shaking all over, the tears were blinding my vision.

“NO!” I screamed as every part of me hurt in a way it never had before.

I tried sucking in a huge breath but it was like my lungs had shriveled up.
I couldn’t breathe and the sobs escaping my lips were getting louder and louder.

Someone was yelling my name and started shaking me.

——————————————————————————————————————————————-

I gasped and opened my eyes quickly. Niall was shaking me by the shoulders and looked relieved when he saw my open eyes.

I jumped out of bed “Bianca! Where’s Bianca?!” I yelled

“She’s still in the hospital, she’s fine it was just a dream Zayn we can go see her now she’s fine” he said soothingly.

I paused and drew in a few ragged breaths; I was covered in sweat from the dream. It had felt too real for my liking and I needed to see Bianca. Nothing could stop me I had to see after that horrible dream I thought shuddering.

“How- how did you know what I was dreaming about?” I asked him shakily, trying to catch my breath.

“You were crying in your sleep when I woke up and then you started screaming and…” Niall trailed off.

“And?” I asked Niall

“You stopped breathing for awhile and scared the shit out of me so that’s when I started shaking you awake and started yelling your name” he whispered.

“Sorry” I told him sincerely. I didn’t mean to give him such a scare.

“What’s the time?” I asked him

“Just a little after 8, visiting hours start at 8:30 and Christine texted me saying to make sure we have showers and eat before we come.” Niall said.

I nodded and grabbed some clean clothes, “I’ll go for a shower first you can go next” I told Niall.

He nodded and looked at me hesitantly. I raised my eyebrow at him questioningly.

“Do you wanna talk about the dream?” he asked hesitantly.

I shook my head slowly and said “There’s not much to talking about honestly. It was just my worst nightmare.”

“I can imagine” Niall murmured. He looked up at me and said softly “She’ll be okay. It’s Bianca she has to be.”

I cracked a small smile for Nialls sake and tried to sound confident “She will be fine. Like you said it’s Bianca”

Niall nodded but still looked upset.

“Go eat something while I have a shower okay?” I said

“Alright” Niall said tiredly

I walked into my bathroom and had a quick shower; it felt good, like it was washing away all the reminders of the dream.

I changed into some new clothes quickly and felt fresh and walked into the kitchen to see Niall eating a lot of food which was something he did when he was really upset.

“Niall you have a shower then we’ll go to the hospital and you can see for yourself that Bianca’s going to be fine”

“Okay I’ll be quick and I’ll just borrow some of your clothes?” He asked.

“Yeah help yourself to anything” I said nodding towards my room.

“Thanks man, I won’t be long we can go see Bianca soon” he replied.

I nodded and he left to have a shower. I wasn’t hungry but I just forced myself to at least eat a slice of toast and drank some coffee as well.

It wasn’t long before Niall was out of the shower and we were making our way to my car.

Niall held out his hand to me and said “Keys?”

I sighed but handed them over; as long as we got to the hospital I didn’t really care.

Niall drove quickly and soon we were outside the hospital and I froze.

Niall bumped into me and looked at me with concern.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

I bit my lip and drew in a shaky breath and said “It feels like my dream all over again and I’m scared to enter because I don’t want my dream to come true. I can’t live without her Niall. I just can’t.”

“Well that’s not going to happen. She’s going to be fine. We’re in this together.” he said.

I took a deep breath and said “Your right she’s going to be fine. She’s going to wake up.”

I walked in slowly feeling a bit hesitant but Niall was at my side the whole time.

When we got to the waiting room Harry and Louis were there with Bianca’s parents but Liam and Danielle were nowhere in sight.

Christine stood up when she saw us and when I was in front of her she gave me a big hug and said happily “She’s going to wake up soon”

“Everything’s okay? She’s fine? Nothing happened during the night?” I asked frantically.

“Nothing happened she’s going to be okay Zayn” she said smiling warmly at me.

I let out a huge sigh of relief and felt my eyes pricking with tears because I couldn’t believe it. She was going to be okay. It felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders.

I gave Christine another hug and went and sat down next to Harry who turned to me with a smile on his face.

“I can’t wait till she wakes up; she’s going to get a yelling from me for scaring me like that!” Harry exclaimed.

“You’ll have to beat me to it” Niall said seriously.

“Oh me three I’m gonna have a go at her as well” Louis added.

I laughed softly and could almost feel things going back to normal. Almost.

“Where are Liam and Danielle?” I asked Louis

“Cafeteria, they went to grab something to eat they should be back soon.” Louis replied

I nodded silently and turned to look at Ricky “When do we get to see her?” I asked

“Soon, we are going to check with the doctors now.” He replied.

He disappeared with Christine trying to find a doctor to talk too when Liam and Danielle walked in.

“Zayn!” Danielle exclaimed giving me a hug.

I hugged her back and said “Hey Danni”

“Where did Christine and Ricky go?” Liam asked

“They went to find a doctor to see if we could wait in Bianca’s room till she wakes up.”

Liam nodded and then Christine walked out and called us over.

We all walked over quickly and followed her to Bianca’s room.

When I walked in my eyes straight away landed on Bianca and my heart dropped a little again.

She looked better than yesterday but I still hated seeing her like this. I just wish she had never gotten hurt. I hated that truck driver and felt anger wash over me.

I walked to her bed slowly and held her hand. It was soft and warm like yesterday.  I felt myself calm down by just being near her.

I leant in and kissed her on the forehead.

I went to go stand back a little when her hand squeezed mine slightly. I let out a quiet yelp from surprise.

Christine and the others looked at me worriedly.

“She squeezed my hand!” I exclaimed.

A look of relief washed across everyone’s face and Christine’s soon changed to excitement.

“She’s going to wake up soon! Ricky go get a doctor.”

Ricky high tailed out of the room faster than lightening and soon the doctor was in the room. He was checking Bianca’s charts when I noticed Bianca’s hand twitch.

I wasn’t the only one that noticed because the doctor paused and looked up at Bianca’s face.

I was already watching her face intently for any movement.

While we were waiting for her to fully wake up the doctor started talking to us.

“So are you all friends of Bianca’s?” He asked.

“Yup!” Niall proudly said but then looked at me and said “Well he’s her boyfriend but we’re all friends”

The doctor chuckled and then stopped short when Bianca’s eyes started fluttering open. I stepped forward anxiously waiting with the others.

Bee looked around the room in a daze and when her eyes met mine I saw them flash with emotion but it was gone before I could detect what it was.

Christine was standing at Bianca’s side and squeezed her hand. Bianca’s head snapped up to look at Christine before her eyes started watering.

“Mum” she said croakily reaching her hands out like a little child.

Christine swept her into an instant hug and made soothing sounds while Bianca cried and I shifted uncomfortably wanting to comfort her and stop her crying.

When Bee and Christine broke apart the doctor cleared his throat grabbing their attention as well as ours.

“Sorry I just need to check your vitals and ask you some questions to see how your memory is.” The doctor said.

Bianca nodded and the doctor checked her vitals while asking her questions.

“What’s your full name?” He asked.

“Bianca Danielle D’Souza” Bee said

“How old are you?” He asked

“17” she replied.

“Date of birth?” He questioned

“27^th of June 1995” she said

“Any idea what day it is today?” he asked

She shook her head slowly.

The doctor frowned and asked her “What’s the last thing you remember?”

Her forehead crinkled as she concentrated and hesitated before answering Harry and Louis’ party.

I froze and stared at her not sure I heard right.

“What did you say?” I asked my voice cracking.

Bee looked at me worriedly while the others looked between is making the same connection I did.

We only started dating a few days after the party. Does that mean she doesn’t remember that I’m her boyfriend?

Christine’s eyes flashed to my face and saw the look of panic before turning to Bianca and saying “Do you have a boyfriend?”

Bianca frowned looking confused and I held my breath as I waited for her to answer and felt someone squeeze my arm reassuringly.

“I don’t have a boyfriend” she said slowly looking at her mum like she was crazy.

Those 5 words made my heart shatter and I ran out of the room unable to breathe.

This can’t be happening I thought shutting my eyes tightly wishing it was all a dream.

Anyone reading my fanfic “Around in circles” I will be posting tomorrow night. That’s my aim so i shall stay up late to finish writting tonight so it ready for tomorrow! Sorry its been a few days since i posted, i’m back at school so things are hectic! Thanks for reading if you are! :) So chapter 15 will be up tomorrow!x

One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles Chapter 14:

One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles

Chapter 14:

Zayns POV:

After Bianca dropped me home I went into the kitchen to grab some something to eat. Damn Nialls eating habits were catching on I thought amusedly.

While I was eating I was thinking about what Bianca told me about Nate. I didn’t like him one bit, I needed to talk to him. I ran my hands through my hair, why did he have to complicate this?

I’m just going to tell Bianca straight up that she shouldn’t hang with him anymore. It’s not going to work out being his friend when he wants her as more.

I sighed and shook my head; I’m too tired to think properly. I went to my room and changed into sweats and a t-shirt and dropped onto my bed.

 

My phone started ringing ‘With You’ by Chris Brown, that’s Bianca’s ringtone I thought half asleep. I reached around blindly with my hand till I found it. I pressed the answer button and put it to my ear without looking at it because I knew it would be too bright for my eyes.

“Hello?” I said groggily

“Zayn I’m so sorry” Bianca sobbed

I quickly sat up in bed now wide awake and tried to stop myself from panicking.

“Bianca? Bianca what’s wrong?! Where are you?” I asked frantically, trying to keep myself from shouting.

“I’m on my way to yours” she said crying.

My heart clenched at the sound of her crying and I felt so useless at that moment.

“Whatever happened I promise to do my best to fix it” I said soothingly, hoping it would help her relax a little bit.

I was already in the living room waiting for her when I faintly heard someone’s horn blaring through the phone.

The next sound I heard nearly made me drop to the floor. Bianca screamed and I froze, my breath caught in my throat and I heard a loud smash and Bianca screamed again before the phone got disconnected.

My brain wasn’t processing anything that just happened. I just stood there staring at my phone not really understanding what was going on.

Suddenly it was like someone was had grabbed a hold of my heart and was squeezing it painfully.

I needed Bianca, what the fuck happened? She has to be okay, she just has too.

I grabbed my keys and ran out of the apartment; I got into my car and drove to Bianca’s house. I had no idea where about she was but she was on the way to mine and she always went the same way. I defiantly wasn’t prepared for what I saw when I came to an intersection not far from her house.

I quickly stopped the car and jumped out running towards Bianca’s car or at least what was left of it.

The car had flipped over and there was shattered glass everywhere and blood. A lot of blood.

“BIANCA!” I screamed pushing my way through people only to be stopped by a police officer.

“LET ME THROUGH!” I screamed

“The victims have already been taken to the hospital, you can’t go through here.”

I ran away without another word and got into my car and drove to the hospital quickly; when I got there I ran inside and went to the front desk.

“There was a girl that just came through? She was in a car accident, her name is Bianca D’Souza. Where is she?!” I asked frantically.

The nurse looked at me sympathetically and said “She’s just gone into surgery, we’re contacting her parents now so can I ask who you are?”

“Her boyfriend” I whispered.

The nurse frowned and asked “How did you know she was in an accident?”

“She was on the phone with me” I said my voice breaking.

The nurse looked at me with pity in her eyes and I turned away avoiding her look.

“Why don’t you go have a seat over there and I’ll let you know how she is the second I hear anything okay?”

I nodded silently and numbly made my way over to the chair.

I sat there and stared at my hands, drops of water kept falling onto my hands from eyes.

Please let her be okay I prayed. Please please please let her be okay.

I shakily got my phone out of the pocket and called Liam.

It rang 4 times before he picked up “Hello?” He said yawning.

“Liam its Zayn, Bianca’s in the hospital” I said my voice cracking.

“What happened?” he asked sounding shocked.

“She was in a car crash, I was on the phone with her” I cried

It was quiet for a moment before Liam muttered “Fucking hell, I’m leaving now, don’t worry I’ll call the others just hold on mate I’ll see you soon.” He said

“Alright” I muttered. I ended the call and put my phone away and hung my head in my hands.

I couldn’t stop the tears from leaking out; I can’t lose her I thought desperately. I just got her I can’t lose her.

I was barely holding it together when I heard shouting. I looked up and saw Bianca’s parents at the front desk, Bianca’s mum had tears running down her face and so did her dad, they both looked panicked and helpless.

“Christine?” I said hoarsely

Her head snapped to me and whispered “Zayn?”

She walked over to me and wrapped me in a motherly hug and I just broke down and cried into her shoulder holding on tight.

“Zayn were you in the car?” she asked me

I shook my head and said “I was on the phone with her, she had me on speaker phone and she was driving over to mine because she was upset for some reason when it happened and- and I heard her scream and I couldn’t do anything Christine. I’m so sorry” I sobbed”

“Shhhh its okay it’s going to be okay. She’ll be fine” She said trying to convince me as well as herself.

I pulled away and asked her “Did you get any new information?”

“Just that she was still in surgery” she said her eyes watering.

“Zayn?” I heard Liam say, I turned around and Liam and Danielle were there, their faces dropped when they saw me and Danielle started crying while Liam asked “How bad?”

“I don’t know, she’s still in surgery.” I replied quietly

“I think you should sit down Zayn it looks like you’re going to collapse at any second” Liam said putting a hand on my shoulder and guiding me to a chair.

I let him push me down into a seat and he sat next to me and Danielle sat on his other side. She was holding his hand tightly and I looked away.

Liam’s phone rang and he answered it quickly. He spoke quietly but I was too distracted to listen. I could hear Bianca’s mum crying and I was just trying to block out everything but nothing would stop the tears and I gave up trying.

I was just trying to keep myself from breaking down completely.

Liam hung up and turned to me and said “The rest of the guys are nearly here, I’m going to meet them outside the building okay?”

I numbly nodded, barely in control of my body.

Liam whispered some things to Danielle and kissed her on the cheek before walking out.

I saw Danielle move into Liam’s seat from the corner of my eye and she grabbed my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“She’ll be fine Zayn.” She said swallowing loudly. “She has to be” she whispered.

“Danielle I can’t lose her, I love her and I didn’t get a chance to tell her, I love her dammit” I said sobbing again.

Danielle wrapped her arms around me and started crying again too.

“Do you have any idea how badly she was hurt?” she whispered.

I shook my head “No but I heard her scream twice” I said hoarsely, clenching my hands into fists.

“I felt so useless, I hated it” I said harshly.

Danielle took a deep breath and whispered “Zayn don’t beat yourself up about it”

I shook my head and whispered hoarsely “I can’t stop hearing her scream, then the loud smash, it just keeps echoing in my head and I have no idea how badly she was hurt”

Danielle clenched my hand tighter and said “Zayn stop, just don’t think about it okay.” She let go of my hand to wipe away her tears when Bianca’s mum walked towards us.

I stood up quickly “What’s going on? Is she okay?” I asked hurriedly

Bianca’s mum shook her head and I sucked in my breath as my heart dropped, she must have seen the sudden change in my face and said quickly “I meant no news yet”

I let out a sigh of relief. I thought she meant Bianca wasn’t okay. I took deep breaths trying to calm down. She has to be okay I thought my eyes tearing up.

“Zayn, Danielle I have some news about how the car crash happened” Christine said quietly

I looked at her expectantly and said “Okay…”

She took a deep breath and said “The truck driver was drunk and ran through a red light, Bianca tried to get out of the way but it was too late”

I clenched my fists tightly together, “Fuck! Fucking asshole” I said harshly

I was so angry I walked away from Danielle and Christine and went outside and I ran into Liam, Louis, Niall and Harry.

They all looked stressed and worried and when they saw me the look on their faces got worse.

“Liam filled us in on what he knew” Harry said quietly.

I nodded, “She’s in surgery at the moment. A drunken truck driver ran a red light and hit her” I said tightly. I wanted so badly to punch something right now.

“How long as she been in surgery for?” Niall asked, his voice cracking at the end.

“Nearly an hour” I said emotionlessly

Louis ran his hand through his hair and looked like he was trying not to cry. They all looked like that.

“Liam said you were on the phone with her?” Louis asked.

I nodded and said “She was upset about something and she was on her way to mine when I heard her scream and then I heard a loud crash and then she screamed again before the phone disconnected.” Saying that I started to cry again, I rubbed my eyes fiercely and muttered “Fuck this can’t be happening.”

Niall gave me hug and soon the others all joined so we had a massive group hug going on. I chuckled quietly but it sounded strained.

We broke apart and I felt less angry about the truck driver. I just needed to see Bianca.

We walked back inside to see a doctor talking to Christine and Ricky and I had to refrain myself from running over there but I walked quickly with the boys falling close behind.

Just before we could reach them the doctor walked away and my heart was clenching uncomfortably at all the possibilities.

I saw Danielle come out of the bathroom and quickly walked over and joined us. When I reached Christine and Ricky I was a nervous wreck.

“What did the doctor say?” I asked tightly.

“She’s going to be okay” Christine said with a relieved look on her face.

Ricky was still a bit somber and said “She was bleeding internally but they fixed her and she hit her head and had a concussion but she should be waking up by the end of tomorrow. She might have a bit of memory loss at the beginning but she’ll regain it slowly.”

I nodded and felt a weight being lifted off my shoulders. She would be okay. She was okay. I still had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach but I shoved it away.

Christine gave everyone individual hugs and said “It’s great seeing you all except next time the circumstances should be different. Like at a party” she said lightly.

Ricky chuckled relaxing a bit, when she gave me a hug at last she said to us all “Go home get a good night sleep.”

I opened my mouth to protest but she beat me to it. “Bianca will not be waking up till tomorrow night; you all need a good night’s sleep. No excuses” she said looking at me.

I frowned, there was no way I would be able to sleep, and I told Christine that “I need to see her” I pleaded.

Christine gave a sigh before nodding slightly “You can see her but after I want you to go home get some sleep and eat something before you come back here tomorrow understand?” She said sternly

I nodded quickly. I just needed to see her to make sure she was actually okay.

“I’m assuming the rest of you would like to see her before you leave?” Christine asked.

 I saw them all nod quickly too.

“Okay but they still have to move her into a room so it’ll be a little bit of a wait” she said frowning at us.

“It’s fine” I said quickly. The others nodded in confirmation.

We went and sat down in the stiff hospital chairs and I kept wringing my hands together trying to calm down. After hearing how badly she was hurt I’m scared to see her now. My heart already felt like it was being squeezed uncomfortably and I knew it would only get worse once seeing how badly she was hurt.

Niall suddenly said “Zayn if you keep running your hands through your hair you’re going to pull out all your hair soon”

“I can’t help it” I replied quietly.

He gave my arm a quick squeeze and said “We’ll be with you every step of the way; she’s going to be fine”

I nodded slightly.

Bianca’s parents had gone to see what room she had gone into and they would come and get us when she was all moved in.

I kept tapping my foot impatiently and every time someone walked through the door my head snapped up to see if it was Christine or Ricky.

At last when I thought I was going to go crazy from the waiting, Christine came out and we all quickly stood up and made our way over to her.

“Can we see now?” I asked frantically, I couldn’t relax till I had seen her, my whole body was tense.

Christine hesitated, “Are you sure you want to see her? She got quite banged up” She said wincing.

“Please” I begged.

“Christine please we’re all going crazy right now please can we see her?” Niall begged

She looked at us all and said “Alright let’s go”

She turned around and started walking down the hallway with us following close behind.

She paused outside what I was assuming to be Bianca’s door and took a deep breath as if to steady herself.

She opened the door and I was the first one to enter and I sucked in a huge breath.

I froze mid-step before rushing to the side of her bed. I couldn’t take my eyes of her. She had a bandage on her head and she looked so pale, she wore a hospital gown and she looked so fragile I felt my heart plummet to the ground.

I heard Danielle gasp before she started crying.

I heard a weird wheezing sort of sound, like someone was struggling to breath.

Someone put a hand on my shoulder and tried to turn me around but I couldn’t look away.

“Zayn?” Harry asked

I couldn’t respond, I couldn’t breathe and then I realized I was the one making the weird wheezing sound. Christine appeared in front of me and looked at me with a worried gaze; she put her hands on either side of my face and wiped away tears that were running down my face. I hadn’t realized I had started crying again.

“Zayn I know she looks fragile right now but she’s going to be okay.” Christine said soothingly.

I sucked in a huge breath and tried to take even breathes.

Bianca’s mum took my hand and laid it on top of Bianca’s.

Bee’s hand was warm and soft like always. I could feel my heart slowing down.

It was still too much to handle so I pulled my hand away and ran. I had to get out of the room. Just outside her room I leant against the wall and slide to the floor crying.

Niall came out and sat next to me while I cried. I thought I would have run out of tears by now but no such luck.

When I felt like I didn’t need to cry anymore I took a side long glance at Niall who was also crying and he was biting on his fist to keep himself of sobbing.

I instantly felt guilty for not comforting him. I squeezed his arm and he met my gaze before a sob broke free from his lips.

I threw my arm around him and let me cry. Nialls like my younger brother; I hated seeing him like this.

After a few minutes Niall pulled away and sniffed and said “Sorry about that”

“You have nothing to apologize for” I said simply.

Christine then came out of the door and sent a small smile our way but it looked forced. It was really hard on everyone seeing Bianca like this.

Bianca was always so loud, funny, dirty minded and bubbly. Right now it was like she was in a coma.

I swallowed loudly and stood up the same time Niall did.

“You guys need to go home and sleep okay? The others are saying bye to Bianca so go on” Christine said.

Niall and I walked into the room with Christine following closely behind.

Danielle was just kissing Bianca’s forehead before whispering “See You tomorrow.”

The boys all lightly kissed her forehead before promising to be back tomorrow.

It was my turn at last and I walked to the side of her bed with shaky legs and held her hand loosely before leaning down and pressing my lips to her forehead gently.

“I love you Bee, see you tomorrow” I whispered.

I let go off her hand and walked away slowly.

Christine hugged us all goodbye in the hallway and we all walked out to the front of the hospital.

Danielle and Liam were catching a cab together and staying at Liam’s place, Harry and Lou were going back to their apartment and Niall was coming over to mine.

Danielle threw her arms around my neck and hugged me tightly before whispering “Be strong. I’ll see you tomorrow”

“You too” I whispered back.

The guys all gave me hugs too and told me to try get some sleep before coming back to the hospital. We all left around the same time.

Niall and I were silent in the cab which was unlike us but we both weren’t in the mood to talk anyway.

My brain barely registered what was going on but soon we were at my apartment.

Niall and I were sharing my double bed and we were both already in pajamas’ so we got into bed.

It was quite for a few moments before I thought I heard Niall trying to cry quietly.

“Niall it’s going to be okay” I said quietly.

“I hope so” He said tiredly his voice scratchy from all the crying.

I felt the tears start to fall down my face silently as I said “Me too”

That night I cried myself to sleep for the first time in years.

 

 

 

 

 

One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles Chapter 13:

One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles

Chapter 13:

Bianca’s POV:

I woke up to smell of food, I opened my eyes slowly and looked around. Liam and Danielle were fast asleep in each other’s arms; I controlled the urge to ‘Awww’ at how cute they looked! Harry must have moved around a lot in his sleep because his head was now where his feet were, he had done a 180 turn and Louis was drooling a little. I grabbed my phone off the floor and took a quick picture and chuckled quietly. I was so going to hold this against him. I looked at Zayn next and saw he was also still fast asleep. I look down at our intertwined hands and tried to remember when that had happened, I mean I woke up and we were holding hands. I don’t even remember how that happened.

Oh my gosh he looks so cute, I snapped a picture on my phone of him as well. I sighed at how adorable he looked. I leant in and kissed him on the cheek and slowly removed my hand from his, my hand suddenly felt cold though without his and I sat up slowly and checked the time on my phone.

It was nearly noon so I stretched and quietly got up. I could hear Niall singing ‘Somebody to Love’ by Justin Bieber quietly and I joined in him in the kitchen to help him with whatever he was cooking.

“Morning” I said yawning.

“Hey Bee, wanna help make pancakes?” He asked

“Sure!” I said brightly, I loved pancakes! One of my favorite foods for sure and Niall knew it!

Niall got out another pan so we were cooking pancakes side by side.

We ended up cooking heaps and my mouth was watering by the end of it, I couldn’t wait to dig in, me and Niall together of course already stole a few and ate them while cooking, they were just too tempting.

Suddenly everyone seemed to be waking up from the Lounge, I could hear them groaning and me and Niall chuckled and took the food over to the dining table with plates and cutlery.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when Niall yelled “BREAKFAST IS READY! COME AND GET IT!” in a loud booming voice.

Niall laughed when he saw I got a fright and I shoved him slightly and said “oh shut up.”

I heard a whole bunch of footsteps making their way to the table so Niall and I sat down next to each other and started grabbing the biggest pancakes.

“PANCAKES!” Louis screamed sitting down and grabbing some quickly.

I laughed and felt someone stand behind me. I lifted my head and saw Zayn; I smiled at him and said “Morning sleepy head”

“Morning” he said and leant down giving me a quick kiss before he took a seat next to me on the other side.

Liam, Danielle and harry sat down too and soon all you could hear was the clinking of the cutlery on the plates because everyone was too busy stuffing their faces to talk.

“This is so good!” Harry moaned.

“I helped make it!” I said

“Yeah but it’s my secret recipe!” Niall said winking.

“Well it’s delicious” Louis said with his mouth full. Well I think that’s what he said; it was hard to understand him when he kept stuffing his face with food.

By the end of it I felt sick from eating so much. I looked down at my stomach and got angry with myself. Why did I eat so much? I looked around the table and saw everyone was still eating. I pushed my chair back and went to stand up when Zayn put his hand on my knee.

“Are you done eating?” He asked.

“Yeah I’m pretty full, just gonna go to the bathroom” I replied

“Oh okay” Zayn said nodding

I got up and made my way to the bathroom. When I went in I shut the door and made sure it was locked. I put the tap on and went over to the toilet and stuck three fingers down my throat and made myself throw up. I shouldn’t have eaten so much.

When I was done heaving up my stomach I heard someone knock on the door.

“Two Minutes!” I yelled out.

I walked to the sink and rinsed out my mouth and washed my face, when I looked decent I unlocked the door and found Niall standing there.

He quickly walked in before I even had the chance to walk out; he wrinkled up his nose and said “Did you throw up?”

“What?” I asked him shocked.

“I have a sensitive nose” He explained, “And it smells like puke”

“Uh, I think I just ate a little too much and it made me sick, but don’t worry I’m fine now” I said quickly.

Niall frowned at me suspiciously and I quickly said “Well it’s all yours now” and walked out into the living room where everyone chilling.

Zayn looked up at me when I entered the room and held out his arms to me.

I smiled at him and quickly sat down in between his legs and rested my back on his chest.

He rested his chin on my shoulder and I could feel him staring at me.

At first I just ignored him but he just kept staring so I gave in and turned my head to face him, “What?” I asked

He shook his head at me and said “You’re going to think this is incredibly cheesy but you look so beautiful and I just got distracted.”

I snorted and said “Right sure. You’re one to talk babe, you wake up looking like a freaking sex god for crying out loud.”

“Sex god?” Zayn asked smirking.

I groaned and said “I take it back!”

“Nope no take backs!” he argued.

“Whatever” I muttered.

He laughed at my comeback and kissed me on the cheek and said “God you know I love you right?”

My heart started beating faster when he said that, I know I loved Zayn already, like really loved him but I wasn’t sure how he felt and whenever he said he loved me it just made me melt.

“Love you more” I said softly.

“I wish I could wake up next to you every morning” he said sighing.

“Can’t wait till the married life right” he said.

After he said that I was struggling to remain calm. Did he mean he couldn’t wait till we would get married? Would we get married someday? I thought about it and I could actually see myself walking down the aisle to meet him, I couldn’t picture anyone else.

I shook my head quickly, oh my god what am I thinking?! That would be in the far far far future.

Get a grip Bianca! I told myself.

We all stayed at Harry and Lou’s till like 3 in the afternoon just chatting. I still felt like I needed to catch up on some sleep. We had said bye to everyone and left. Zayn was driving back to his apartment, and then I would take the car home and hopefully catch up on my sleep.

When we pulled into Zayns car park, I leant closer to him and kissed him. We kissed for several minutes before we pulled apart breathing hard.

“That was a lot of fun, thanks for coming and making it special” Zayn said kissing me again.

“That was nothing, I had so much fun, and I can’t wait till the next slumber party!” I told him excitedly.

He laughed softly and said “You never fail to amaze me”

I looked at him confused but he shook his head and gave a last sweet kiss before saying goodbye.

I watched him walk away and before he entered the elevator he turned around and blew me a kiss and I blew him one back.

I chuckled as I pulled out of the car park and started driving home.

I always said if I were in a relationship I wouldn’t be one of those sickingly sweet couples but Zayn honestly just made me all giggly and girly and I couldn’t help it. I had a big smile on my face the entire way home.

When I got home, just as I entered I bumped into my parents, I looked at my dad angrily because I just had all this hate building up but I couldn’t even voice my opinion so I just stayed quiet and kept my face blank from any emotion.

Mum gave me a hug and said “Hope you had fun at the sleepover! We just got called into work, a big meeting is going to happen, we’ll be home later tonight, don’t wait up!”

She kissed me on the cheek and walked out quickly, my dad followed her but not before giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

I shut the door and rubbed my face quickly, I knew it was immature but things with my dad were just rocky.

I walked up to my room, dragging my feet because a wave of tiredness washed over me.

I collapsed onto my bed and closed my eyes and waited for sleep to come, I couldn’t be bothered changing, I was in sweats and a t-shirt anyway, that was comfy.

 

I thought I heard the front door open and cracked my eyes open a tiny bit. It was really dark so I figured it was still late at night and my parents were probably home. I shut my eyes again and relaxed and just listened to the footsteps that were now making their way upstairs.

They paused outside my room and my door opened. I still kept my eyes shut, I was half asleep and I figured it was just mom checking on me.

I heard them come into my room and I felt like funny. I had a bad feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach and I didn’t like it.

Suddenly I felt the softest pressure on my lips and my eyes opened instantly in shock.

I jumped back and sat up quickly.

“Nate?! What the fuck?!” I yelled.

I wiped my lips on the back of my hand fiercely.

Nate stood their looking shocked, “I- I thought you were asleep.” He stammered. “I was going to kiss you on the forehead but I just wanted to know what it would feel like” He said quickly.

“What are you doing here?” I asked him angrily

“You didn’t answer my text and I couldn’t sleep so I came to see if you wanted to hang out?”  He said shrugging.

I just stared at him.

“Get out.” I said flatly.

“What?” He asked his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Get out!” I said raising my voice.

“You can’t just kiss me Nate! I have a boyfriend!”

He scoffed and said “When will you realize that you like me not him.”

I glared at him and clenched my fists tightly. I was trying really hard not to punch him when I realized he was drunk. I can’t believe I didn’t smell the alcohol on him earlier.

When I looked into his eyes I saw they were a little bloodshot.

“Nate did you drive here drunk?!” I demanded.

“No I walked.” He said slowly.

“Well walk yourself home because I’m pissed at you.” I said.

“No you love me” he said simply.

“Fuck off Nate okay I’m being nice here just go I’ll talk to you later.” I said looking away. I can’t believe he kissed me. I sighed when I realized I would have to tell Zayn.

“Oh and give me back the spare key?” I told him.

“Why?” He asked shocked.

“So this doesn’t happen again” I responded harshly

“No.” He said staring at me challengingly.

I got off the bed and stood in front of him.

“Give me the fucking key Nate” I hissed

“Okay.” He said

I raised my eyebrows suspiciously but held out my hand.

“Only if you give me a kiss.” He said

“You know what Nate, I’m done, and you’re drunk we can talk when you’re sober. Maybe, but now you just need to fucking get lost.”

I went to walk past him to show him the door but he grabbed me by my shoulders and pressed me against the wall.

“Nate get off!” I yelled trying to push his body away from mine.

He grabbed my hands with one hand and held them tightly by my side and whispered “Kiss me”

“No.” I said struggling against his hold, this was not Nate.

He laughed and I froze. When he moved I saw something sticking out of his jacket pocket.

“Are you high Nate?” I whispered.

“Maybe” he replied grinning widely.

I shrank back into the wall.

I had only ever seen Nate high once besides this time and it was not pretty. It had the worst effect on him.

“Nate let me go.”I demanded.

His grip on me tightened and he grabbed my face roughly with one hand and pressed his lips against mine. I thrashed in his arms and tried to move my face but his hold was too tight. He was hurting my jaw with his strength.

I started crying which made him stop. “Shit Bianca I’m so sorry, don’t cry, please don’t cry.”He said while wiping the tears of my face.

His grip had loosened and he was distracted so I took this as my chance and kneed him in the balls and shoved him away from me with all the strength I could muster.

He went stumbling to the floor and I grabbed my phone and keys from the tables next to me and ran.

I ran down the stairs and heard him shout at me, I started crying harder and ran faster to my car. I could hear him running behind me and I freaking out and pushed myself to run faster. I got in the car and started it quickly and pulled out of the driveway. I saw him trip and fall and I relaxed a little bit as I drove away from him.

I was at the traffic lights that were red and I couldn’t stop crying I couldn’t calm down. I needed Zayn. I picked up my phone with shaky hands and speed dialed Zayn and put him on speaker.

“Hello?” Zayn answered groggily.

“Zayn I’m so sorry” I said sobbing.

“Bianca? Bianca what’s wrong?! Where are you?” He asked frantically.

“I’m on my way to yours” I said crying.

“Whatever happened I promise to do my best to fix it” Zayn said soothingly.

The light turned green so I started going forward when I heard someone’s horn blaring from behind me. Before I could look in the rear view mirror I saw something from the corner of my eye and turned my head to the right.

I screamed when I saw an oncoming truck, the head lights were on bright so I had to squint. I stamped my foot on the gas but I wasn’t quick enough because the truck collided with my car and I screamed again as the car spun out of control and flipped over.

I hit my head on the window and screamed again from the pain coursing through me.

I saw the glass shatter and shut my eyes tightly as it cut into my skin.

I was stinging all over from the cuts on my body and my head was pounding. Blood was dripping from my head and blurring my vision. My whole body felt as if it was on fire. Everything was hurting and it was all too much. I couldn’t breathe properly. I’m going to die I thought. There was blood everywhere, I was covered in it and I didn’t even know where half of it was coming from because my whole body was aching.

 I blacked out from the pain and the last thing I heard were sirens in the distance and a lot of screaming.

One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles Chapter 11:

One Direction, Fanfic: Around in circles

Chapter 11:                

Bianca’s POV:

The week seemed to be dragging on but at last it was the day Zayn and the boys were coming back! I couldn’t wait. We were all having a massive sleepover at Louis and Harry’s apartment tonight; it would definitely be entertaining I mused.

I was packing my bag for the night when my phone beeped indicating I had a new message. I checked it and saw it was from Danielle, it said “Can’t wait for tonight babe! Got a whole lot of pranks I’ve been waiting to try out on them! ;)” I laughed, tonight would definitely be a night to remember I thought chuckling.

I quickly texted back “Haha I’m so keen! The boys won’t know what hit em’!”

The doorbell rang and I frown at the clock, it was only 12, I still had awhile before I had to leave to pick up Zayn.

I ran downstairs and opened the door and was shocked to see Nate.

“What are you doing here?” I asked shocked.

“What I’m not welcome?” He teased.

“You are but what if my parents were home, they would have seen your face!”

“Well it is a nice face…” Nate started, I groaned and he chuckled and said “Kidding, you told me they were going overnight for a business trip so I thought I would visit, get a chance to get out of the house.”

“Oh okay sure! But I have to leave at 1:30 to go to the airport” I said

“Yeah yeah” he replied. He stood in the doorway looking nervous for some reason.

“You okay?” I asked him.

“Yeah why?” he said looking at me.

“Well um you haven’t walked in…” I trailed off.

He smiled sheepishly and walked in and I shut the door behind him.

I started walking upstairs and said over my shoulder “I’m just packing for the big sleepover tonight so you’ll have to come up.”

He nodded and followed me to my room; I continued to pack while he sat on my armchair in the corner.

It was silent for awhile except for me occasionally humming. Nate suddenly said “Do you like him?”

“What?” I asked confused, that was out of the blue.

“Do you like Zayn?” Nate asked impatiently.

“Well yeah obviously, why else would I go out with him?” I responded, still packing.

“So you’re not just scared to say no because you thought the other boys wouldn’t talk to you? Or you’re not just going out with him because he’s the famous Zayn Malik?” He asked.

I whirled around and said “What?! You think I would do that? I’ll always be friends with the others and I really do like Zayn! Not because he’s famous” I spat angrily.

Nate stood up and came really close to me, I involuntarily took a step back and Nate sighed and ran both his hands through his hair forcefully.

“I like you.” He said simply.

I just stared at him. “Well people are usually friends with people they like so good job Nate” I said.

Nate huffed and said “No I like like you. I want to date you; I want you to be MY girlfriend.”

My mouth dropped open before I burst out into hysterical laughter, “Right good one Nate, seriously stop playing jokes like that” I said nudging him as I went to put my pj’s in the bag for tonight.

This time Nate cursed and grabbed my face in his hands and said “I fucking like you dammit and if you don’t believe me I’ll kiss you too prove it.”

I stood there frozen for a second before I shoved him away and stumbled back.

“What?” I whispered. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t want to believe. This can’t be real. Me and Nate have always been close, sometimes people said weirdly close but I just saw him as my brother.

“Give me a chance” Nate demanded “I’ll prove to you how much I like you. I was going to let you be with Zayn but I just wanted to tell you this now. I’m going to fight for you and I’m not going to fight fair.” He said.

“Get out.” I replied.

“What?” He asked.

“Just… go. I’m with Zayn Nate so just leave.”

“So if you weren’t with Zayn you would have gone on a date with me?” he asked

“Nate you’re like a brother to me.”  I said honestly.

“You’re just confused” Nate said shaking his head.

 “I like you too much to just give up.” He stated.

I bit lip and just stood there, absorbing everything that just happened.

“I’ll leave for now to give you some time to think about everything I said” Nate said looking at me.

“I don’t want you to fight for me Nate” I said.

“Ah but you don’t get a say in that matter” Nate replied.

“I need to go pick up my boyfriend so you should go.” I said harshly hoping he would get the message.

He didn’t look bothered by my tone and just shrugged it off and smiled widely and said “I’ll talk to you later.” He turned and walked out of my room and a few seconds later I heard the front door close shut.

I sighed and sank to the floor with my face in my hands.

This is going to be a perfect welcome home present for Zayn. Just great…

Why the hell did Nate have to pull this crap?

I bit my lip nervously, I’ll have to tell Zayn and things are going to be different now. I just lost Nate. I was starting to feel pretty down and my eyes were watering a little but I snapped myself out of it. I obviously can’t have them both, I’m just being selfish.

I was so confused, what do I do? I know I’m going to pick Zayn, it would always be Zayn, he’s been my best friend for my whole life, but do I just ignore Nate now? Do I say goodbye? How the hell do I say good bye?!

I shook those thoughts from my head and just finished packing; I kept pacing up and down the room when I was done. I groaned loudly, this is ridiculous.

When I looked up I saw it was nearing 1:30, I grabbed my bag and headed to the car and drove quickly to the airport. When I got there I noticed there were a few photographers waiting for the boys too.

I kept looking at the gate waiting for Zayn and the others to come through. I received a text and pulled out my phone, it was from Zayn.

‘Hey baby, Security is taking us out from the side can you meet us there?”

I texted him back saying I would see him soon and made my way to the side entrance, I waited there and then Liam and Niall walked out I started waving, they came my way and soon Zayn, Harry and Louis came out. Niall gave me a hug first; “I missed you my little potato” I cooed.

He playfully glared at me before a smile overtook his face and said “I missed you too my little innocent-“

“Liam!” I yelled cutting off Niall before he finished that sentence.

Niall chuckled and Liam came over and gave me a hug, when I took a step back I was tackled from the side and nearly fell over from the hit.

“Louis” I groaned.

“Bee!” Harry said joining the hug.

“Guy!” I managed to choke out.

They pulled away laughing and I took a deep breath.

Suddenly my vision was blocked as someone covered my eyes.

“Hi beautiful” Zayn whispered.

I shivered and turned around quickly before wrapping my arms around him. He hugged me back tightly and said “I missed you so much”

“I missed you more” I replied.

Preston their body guard came up and said “We better get going the paparazzi have seen us.”

I saw some flashes from their cameras and Zayn grabbed my hand and we walked quickly, Preston walked us to my car while the others had gotten their own rides back to their own places.

We got in the car and waved to Preston as I started driving towards Zayns apartment.

“So how was the mini tour?” I asked him.

“It was good, we went to heaps of places and met heaps of fans and there were a lot of questions about whom the girl on the boat was “he said smiling.

“Well I’m sure they’ll find out now” I said frowning.

“What’s wrong?” Zayn asked.

“I’m just worried they won’t like me, they love Danielle and Eleanor, they disliked Caroline and well I’m just hoping they won’t hate me. I said shrugging.

He leant in and kissed me on the cheek and said “They’ll love you” and added

“I know I do” he said it so quietly I wasn’t sure I heard correctly, I shrugged it off, my mind was just playing tricks on me.

We drove in a comfortable silence and soon enough we were getting out of the car, stupid boy wouldn’t let me help with his bags and insisted on carrying them both.

I sighed, he was too stubborn sometimes.

We entered his apartment and he put down his bags just as his cell phone started ringing.

“Vas Happenin’?!” He asked.

I chuckled and walked into his kitchen and grabbed a glass and filled it with water. I started drinking when I heard Zayn walk in, he wrapped his arms around my waist and I leaned back into him and put down my glass.

“Who was that?” I asked turning my head slightly to look at him.

“Just Liam, reminding me to be at Harry and Louis apartment by 6:30” he replied.

I raised my eyebrows and looked at him suspiciously “You’re not telling me something” I accused him

He tried to keep a straight face but his cheeks were turning a light pink and I looked at him in shock. “What in the world could Liam have said to make you blush?!”

“Trust me you don’t want to know” he muttered.

“I never knew Liam had it in him” I said amusedly

Zayn chuckled and unwrapped his arms from me waist. I frowned at the loss of contact and grabbed his hand, he turned to look at me with a small smile on his face and said “Let’s go sit on the couch, I don’t want to keep standing”

I followed him and went to sit next to him when he pulled me onto his lap. I let out a small squeak of surprise.

Zayn chuckled and I ignored him and just snuggled into him getting comfortable.

“So how was your week? Anything interesting happened?” He asked.

I froze when I thought about what Nate said today and he noticed because a concern look filled his face. “What’s wrong?” he asked worriedly

“No-Nothing” I stammered and silently cursed myself, I should have just shaken my head silently.

He looked like he was going to question me further so I leant in and kissed him. He started to take full control of the kiss and his tongue invaded my mouth. He leant me down on the couch and hovered above me but I pulled him down.

He broke away and started kissing my neck; I arched my back pressing myself even closer to him. He moaned quietly into my neck and I just moaned at the sound of him.

His hands brushed my bare skin by my waist and my skin instantly heated up. I tugged at his shirt and when he leaned up I pulled it off him. He looked a little surprised before a lustful expression came on his face and he crashed his lips to mine.

I ran my hands down his back, feeling his muscles tense, I then brought them around and ran my hands down his chest, lingering on his six pack. He shivered and proceeded to pull of my top.

His hands brushed the bottom of my bra and I let out a low moan as he sucked a sensitive spot on my neck leaving a hickey.

I ran my hands through his hair and brought his lips back to mine hungrily. Things were really heating up when his phone rang. He continued to kiss my neck though and I managed to breathe out “Zayn your phone”

He groaned and muttered “Next time I’m putting it off.”

He leant up and got his phone out of the pocket in his jeans.

“Hello?” he answered gruffly.

I giggled at his expression and he made a face at me.

He sighed and mumbled “Yes mum, sorry mum.”

I chuckled, that was so cute! I went and picked up my shirt and slipped it back on, when I looked at Zayn he was frowning at me and I rolled my eyes at him.

He kept talking to his mum and I tried to think when the best time to tell him about Nate was and how I was going to tell him.

I heard him say goodbye to his mum and took I deep breath.

He turned to face me and said “Sorry about that, you know mum”

I laughed lightly and said “All too well, I got the same treatment while you were away”

He groaned and replied “Of course you did”

I laughed and said “Oh don’t worry about it, you still haven’t talked to my mum!”

He laughed and said “She can’t be much worse than mine!”

“You’ll see” I responded shaking my head at how clueless he was.

I didn’t realize I was staring at Zayn till he brought me out of my daze saying “Bee I know I’m good to look at and all, trust me I know” he said winking.

I groaned “Self obsessed boy” I muttered.

He chuckled and said “So what did you do while I was gone?”

“Not much” I said shrugging.

“How did Nate react when he found out we were dating?” He asked curiously.

Now’s my chance to tell him I thought. “He took it well at first…” I trailed off.

“At first?” Zayn asked

“Yeahwelltodayhecameoverandtoldmehelikelikedmeandyeahitwasashockwhenhesaidthat” I said quickly and out of breathe.

“Wait what?!” Zayn asked.

“Nate told me today that he uh like liked me and yeah…” I trailed off.

Zayn was eerily quiet and I looked at him worriedly.

“What did you say?” Zayn asked quietly.

“I told him to get out and that I thought of him as a brother” I said

Zayn relaxed in his seat but my brain kept rambling on for some stupid reason and I ended up saying “And he said he’s going to fight for me even though I told him I didn’t want him to but he didn’t listen to me.”

Zayns hands clenched into fists as he heard this.

“Sorry” I muttered.

Zayn looked confused, “Why are you sorry?”

“Because of the whole Nate thing” I said waving my hand around.

“Bianca it’s not your fault you’re so beautiful, smart and funny” he said softly.

I gave him a small smile and leant in and kiss him on the mouth.

“I love you” I said to him.

He grinned widely before grabbing my face in his hands and kissing me passionately, knocking the breath out of me.

“I love you too” he said smiling.

“And Nate can fight for you if he wants but he won’t win, I’m not letting my dream girl get away from me” he said scoffing.

My heart melted when he said that, seriously he’s too good for me.

This time my phone rang and I quickly picked up.

“I’m surprised you two love birds picked up” Niall said amusedly.

“Shut up” I said

“Great comeback, you deserve a medal” he said teasingly

“Stop being a potato” I said randomly.

“You special child” he said laughing

“You can talk” I muttered.

“You noticed?!” he asked sarcastically

I chuckled at that one and said “Okay okay Vas Happenin’ Nialler?”

“Just wanted to tell you to hurry up and get your butts here now!” he exclaimed excitedly

I laughed and said “I’ll tell Zayn to get a move on, you know how he is when he walks past a mirror” I whispered.

“I heard that!” Zayn yelled from the bedroom.

I started laughing with Niall who also heard Zayn.

“See you soon love!” Niall said.

“See you soon Nialler!”

I walked to Zayns room and leaned against the doorway.

“You ready?” I asked

“Yup” Zayn replied nodding.

He leant in and kissed me quickly on the lips.

“Tonight is going to be very interesting” He said.

“You bet” I muttered as I crashed my lips to his in a hurry before we left. 

If anyone cares Chapter 11 of Around In Circles, A One Direction fanfic will be up tonight.

No one? Okay: